All posts by ann888

Conversation With A Man In The World Of Dating – Part Two

 This MAN made contact with me because he wanted to be interviewed for Women Explode.  I thought that this might be really interesting to have someone so eager to share information.

MAN: Marriage is the ultimate. There are more advantages.

ANN: What are the advantages of being married?

MAN: Financial partnership, setting goals together, like trips that we might want to take.

ANN: So, marriage is for finances?

MAN: Of course, a part of it. Anyone would say that?

ANN: What about the emotional connection?

MAN: Oh that, too. That goes without saying.

ANN : But you mentioned financial first. I would think the emotional connection is most important. That someone cares about you, is there for you.

MAN: Well, sure.

ANN:  Are you successful in your business?

MAN: Yes. I am an EXPERT in what I do.

ANN: Really, an expert. Why do you think that you have been single for 10 years, if you are desiring a committed relationship?

MAN: I just haven’t met the right woman.

ANN: What is the right woman? What attributes are important to you?

MAN: Attractive, intelligent, physically fit, good sense of humor, likes the out of doors, likes nice things, nice dinners…and be adventurous, good at setting goals.

ANN: Do you have these attributes?

MAN: Yes.

ANN: Adventurous, in what way?

MAN: Like, if I wanted to take a trip that she would be ready to go.

ANN: So, you want her to be spontaneous and do what you want to do when you want to do it?

MAN: Umm, yeah, to take trips when I want… and…well, sure when she wants.

ANN: How important is appearance to you?

MAN: Very. And she must be physically fit. I was 75 pounds overweight for five years and all I could meet was FAT women. I am not wanting to be with a FAT woman. Being fat is one reason that I haven’t met anyone.

ANN: Over-weight people meet and fall in love everyday and are happy.

MAN: But, I don’t want a FAT woman. So, I lost weight. I will never be fat again. I didn’t want to lose weight then be stuck with some FAT woman or have to motivate her to lose weight.  How old do you think I look?

ANN: 50ish.

MAN: Most people think I am MUCH younger than my age.

ANN: How about age in a woman?

MAN: I want someone around my age. So that, we have commonalities.  Being with an older woman, would make me feel old. She wouldn’t be able to keep up with me.
ANN: What if she was fit, attractive and adventuruous?

MAN: Like Sally Fields?

ANN: Do you know Sally Fields?

MAN: (shakes head)

ANN: There are a lot of ‘older’ women that are great looking, in great shape, and rock. That, perhaps, even you couldn’t keep up with and are more adventurous than you.

MAN: Doubt it.

ANN: Have you heard of this 3 date rule. That sex is expected to occur on or soon after the third date.

MAN: Ridiculous! Because it could occur on the first date.

ANN: The first date?

MAN: Yeah.

ANN: Isn’t that a bit soon? Why do you think these days that sex is expected so early?

MAN: Today, life is lived in sounds bites. If it doesn’t happen fast, it doesn’t happen.

ANN: Sound bites, really. Do you think that there is a spiritual component to sex?

MAN: (ponders) Funny, you should say that. Yeah, body, mind soul connection, sure.
ANN: And you think this could occur on a first date?

MAN: Well, not… well, it …

ANN: Do you meet women online??

MAN: Yeah, I call it, FLAKES DOT COM… they are all flakes.

ANN: So, why be on there?

MAN: (shrugs)

ANN: What’s chemistry mean to you?

MAN: Touching hands, wanting to touch the other person.  ( he reaches his hand towards mine)

ANN: (I pull back) When you look at your past relationships, what did you do that might have contributed to their demise?

MAN: I was impatient and I sweated the small stuff.

ANN : That was the cause of the endings?
MAN: Yes. And I was the ONE that ended them, NOT the women.

ANN: Do you have any regrets ending them? SInce, it’s so difficult to meet the ‘right’ one.


ANN: Have you ever really been in love?

MAN: Sure…about five or six times.

ANN: Really, that many. What is something that is a deal breaker for you in a relationship? What turns you off?

MAN: If the woman becomes distracted when I am talking to her.

ANN: So, you want her full attention on you?

MAN: (nods)

ANN: Do you feel that you have learned from your past relationships?

MAN: Like if we were dating. (reaches hand across table)

ANN: (pull back) I have enough information. 

MAN: You couldn’t have enough about me. There is much more.

ANN: Really, I do.

MAN: But if…

ANN: Excuse me. I’ll be back in a minute.

I get up to go the restroom. When I come back, he is gone.

What’s your fav special treat indulgence? Mine is…

M&M'sHaagen Daz strawberry ice cream filled with m&m’s put in a waffle cone. Strawberry ice cream in a sugar cone isolated on white background Photo (MEE00696) Sometimes, I add blueberries for the health factor and antioxidant benefit. HA! Yeah, I do! BlueberriesYou know, decadence can have healthy aspects! 

Another one is, four Golden Oreos on a plate, put ice cream on top. For me, it’s strawberry or vanilla, then squirt chocolate syrup over it all, add blueberries and raspberries then top with Chambord Liqueur Royale (raspberry flavored liqueur) and, or cognac.

I also make this with strawberries or put all the berries together and bananas work, also.  YUM! 
      Strawberry : strawberry and fruits on white background Stock Photo                                           Strawberry : picture of strawberry, lips and tongue over white Stock Photo  Sexy touch!

And the GREAT THING is, that since it’s so hot outside, you won’t gain an ounce. Walk out of doors and the fat just melts away. HONESTLY!         Really! It’s true! It does!

   Share your summer treat indulgences with us.
   So, we can indulge with you.



Explosion of Outrage!

Joys of Muslim Women
by Nonie Darwish (a woman born in Egypt as a Muslim) 
This is not hearsay and it will scare the life out of you.
In the Muslim faith, a Muslim man can marry a child as young as 1 year old and have sexual intimacy with this child, consummating the marriage by 9. The dowry is given to the family in exchange for the woman (who becomes his slave) and for the purchase of the private parts of the woman, to use her as a toy. Even though a woman is abused she cannot obtain a divorce.To prove rape, the woman must have (4) male witnesses. Often after a woman has been raped, she is returned to her family and the family must return the dowry. The family has the right to execute her (an honor killing) to restore the honor of the family. Husbands can beat their wives ‘at will’. The husband is permitted to have four wives and a temporary wife (prostitute) at his discretion. Shariah Muslim law controls the private as well as the public life of the woman. 
In America, Muslim men are starting to demand Shariah Law, so the wife cannot obtain a divorce and he can have full and complete control of her.  It is amazing and alarming how many of our sisters and daughters attending American Universities are now marrying Muslim men and submitting themselves and their children unsuspectingly to the Shariah law. 
Author and lecturer Nonie Darwish says the goal of radical Islamists is to impose Shariah law on the world, ripping Western law and liberty apart.  She recently authored the book, Cruel and Usual Punishment: The Terrifying Global Implications of Islamic Law. 

Darwish was born in Cairo and spent her childhood in Egypt and Gaza  before immigrating to America in 1978, when she was eight years old. Her father died while leading covert attacks on  Israel.  He was a high-ranking Egyptian military officer stationed with his family in Gaza and when he died, he was considered a “shahid” (martyr for jihad). His posthumous status earned the family an elevated position in Muslim society. Darwish questioned the Muslim culture at an early age and as she grew she decided to convert to Christianity.
In her latest book, Darwish warns about creeping sharia law. What it is, what it means, and how it is manifested in Islamic countries. She says that radical Islamists are working to impose sharia on the world. If that happens, Western civilization will be destroyed.

Westerners generally assume all religions encourage a respect for the dignity of each individual.  Islamic law (Sharia) teaches that non-Muslims should be subjugated or killed in this world. Peace and prosperity for one’s children is not as important as assuring that Islamic law rules everywhere in the Middle East and eventually in the world. While Westerners tend to think that all religions encourage some form of the golden rule, Sharia teaches two systems of ethics – one for Muslims and another for non-Muslims. Building on tribal practices of the seventh century, Sharia encourages the side of humanity that wants to take from and subjugate others. While Westerners tend to think in terms of religious people developing a personal understanding of and relationship with God, Sharia advocates executing people who ask difficult questions that could be interpreted as criticism. 
It’s hard to believe, that in this day and age, Islamic scholars agree that those who criticize Islam or choose to stop being Muslim should be executed. Sadly, while talk of an Islamic reformation is common and even assumed by many in the West, such murmurings in the Middle East are silenced through intimidation.  While Westerners are accustomed to an increase in religious tolerance over time, Darwish explains how petro dollars are being used to grow an extremely intolerant form of political Islam in her native Egypt and elsewhere. 
(In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the   U.S. to elect the President by themselves! Rest assured they will do so… You can look at how they have taken over several towns in the USA .. Dearborn Mich. is one… and there are others…)
Some Muslims may be peaceful, but they have an army that is willing to shed blood in the name of Islam – the ‘peaceful’ ones support the warriors with their finances and own kind of patriotism to their religion. While America is getting rid of Christianity from all public sites and erasing God from the lives of children the Muslims are planning a great jihad on America .

Someone made a comment on this and I looked it up.Breast Ironing In some parts of Africa, girls in puberty have their breasts flattened to protect them from being raped by men. So, for their own protection, girls are mutilated. Africa is such a backward country and so full of supersition and abhorrent practices.  And of course, as most are aware, they mutilate a woman’s genitalia, so she won’t feel pleasure in the sexual act.

Muslim practices are to cover a woman up. And stone her, among others things, and the African culture mutilates a woman’s body. And this is all done because the males can’t control their sexual impulses and they blame the women for this inability.



Racist! Bigot!

???????????????????????????????have become today’s hot words.  I just heard on a news program that to be called a racist is the ‘worst’ thing that you can be called.  UMMMM…REALLY? And it appears the words ‘Bigot’ and ‘Racist’ are being used interchangeably.


‘RACIST’ – prejudice against people who belong to other races. ‘PREJUDICE’ – intolerance, discrimination, narrow-mindedness, injustice, bias, preconception.  ‘BIGOT’ – somebody with strong opinions, especially on politics, religion, or ethnicity, who refuses to accept different views.


Calling people these names has become common place in the political and media world. If someone disagrees with agenda, they are called a racist or bigot because it is such a ‘terrible’ label. I ask how is this any different than any other name calling? It isn’t!


In fact, how childlike is this behavior? 

When I was about ten years old, I was walking home from school with my girlfriend, Becky, and some ornery boys from our school began tormenting us. They were calling us names such as: dill pickle (making fun of my last name), riggy sniggy, (making fun of Becky’s last name) stupid girls, dummies, creeps and all sorts of things that hurt our little girl feelings. We ignored them, walking straight ahead with purpose. Until these boys got closer and closer then fear over took us and we ran fast towards my house that was a few yards away.


When we reached the front porch, our hearts were pounding. Becky was crying as we burst in the front door and my Mother appeared and asked, “What’s wrong?” As she comforted Becky. I sucked it up. I wasn’t going to let those boys make me cry. As quickly as we could, we told Mother how horrible these boys were and the terrible names that they were calling us. To our surprise, Mother chuckled as she turned to me, “Well, you aren’t a dill pickle, are you?” To which, I gave pause, then answered as I giggled, “No, I’m not! Of course, I’m not!”


Becky stopped crying as Mom continued, “So, why are you letting what these boys say bother you? It’s not true. It’s plain silly. You know who you are.” She was looking at the papers in my notebook as she talked, “You just got an A on your history test, so you certainly aren’t stupid. When you know who you are, what someone calls you won’t bother you.”


Becky and I immediately understood Mother’s message and were soon laughing about how silly those boys were as we munched our after school snack. And with our awareness and our subsequent attitude shift, those boys never bothered us again.


In that simple, clear lesson at the age of ten, I learned that someone can call me ‘whatever’ name and it does not affect me because it is about them and NOT ME.


So, what in the freaking world is going on in the world today? Everyone is calling everyone names. If someone calls someone the ‘N’ word then they in quick retaliation are called a racist. If someone says that they don’t like certain people or groups or ideas or anything else that doesn’t agree with another, then they are called ‘bigots’.


It has become like an elementary school room. Many in politics and the media are using the immature tactics of little bullies. If someone says something that they don’t like then they are labeled the ‘terrible’ labels of the day ‘Racist!” Bigot!’ We are giving over our power to the childlike behavior of name calling by calling and labeling names in return.


Pretty soon racist will become the “R” word. We have the ‘N’ word – the ‘B’ word – ‘C’ word, so on and so forth…everyone knows what is meant. We are becoming a bunch FOOLS! That is the real “F” word.


How plain SILLY is all of this? And this silliness is being perpetuated daily in the media and by people who are just plain clueless OR ARE THEY?  Appears to me, that we may be being manipulate to ‘think’ and ‘talk’ like ‘they’ want us to – to be ‘Politically Correct’ by whose standards? It’s as if they thrive on the friction in the suppression. So, quick to point fingers at others caught saying the deemed horrible indiscretions.


Think back to the little boys tormenting Becky and me. It’s no different. We might have turned and called the boys names in return, but I was reared too mannerly to do so. And had we, what would it haveaccomplished? Only to make our behavior like our perpetrators?


In my opinion, there are worst things to be called than racist. How about murderer, rapist, pedophile, abuser, molester, cheater, etc???


The continual playing of Mel Gibson’s rant is an example of the perpetual attention to things such as this; with many coming out for a moment of spotlight to righteously exclaim their horror. How about stop playing the tapes? Stop calling Gibson a racist and shift the energy of it by NOT giving it any media time? Well, because, if they did that, they would miss out on exploiting the outrage of it all. Shows such as, THE VIEW, thrive on this kind of public display. Some of the women, such as Joy Behar have created their whole comedy ‘act’ on exploitation of  the problems of others; making her living as the sarcastic bully.

There is not a one of us that hasn’t called someone a name or even used ‘racist’ slang. Doing so, does not make us a ‘racist’, in the true sense of the word. There is not a one of us that doesn’t have a bit of bigot or racist in us and that is not always a bad thing. In fact, it can mean that we stand for something, so we won’t fall for everything. It can mean that we just have our differences and don’t like others. SO WHAT!! Everyone doesn’t need to like or agree with everyone else. And we SHOULD NOT be called a name for feeling this way, anymore than we should call others names for being different. But it happens all the time and it is no big deal, (just as my Mother advised) When you know who you are then what others call you won’t matter. In fact, I know a man that uses this kind of slang towards all kinds of people and he is one of the kindest people, helps many, and would harm no one.


This racist/bigot name calling is just a counter attack by bullies.Bullies bullying bullies! And what it reveals are immaturity and a lack of common sense.


If you take the focus off of something it diminishes.  What a concept!




by Ann

I met her in an art gallery, years ago, to discover we’re from the same town. We went to upper-class rival schools and belonged to the same country club. I was the serious, ballet, student type. She a social club, smoker, drinker, hangs with the ‘cool’ kids type.  So, back then, our paths never crossed. 


She was overly thin with long, blond hair and wore jeans with lots of jewelry in an effort to show her ‘wealth’. I only noticed her because she flaunted what she was buying. At first glance, I thought she appeared phony. A couple of pieces of good jewelry are all a ‘real’ lady wears. But, we liked the same art and began a friendship on the commonalities of being from the same city and now living here.


She’s divorcing a doctor and dating a man that she eventually marries. She has two children and he has many. His divorce and bad business deals, once wealthy, leaves him, bankrupt. She has a couple of million from her divorce. I’m newly married living in a large house in a posh area.


We lunch, shop, talk about life, money, and men. Discovering my husband is controlling and abusive, I divorce.

My friend, her husband, and I attend black tie and social events together. They become a part of my comfort that a good relationship is possible in my future. He like a brother to me with a blond on one arm and a brunette on the other. They smoke and drink lots.  I’ve never smoked and only occasionally drink wine or champagne. I spend holidays with them enjoying what I ‘think’ is a contented family. She begins to over indulge in food and liquor. I work out, and take classes to focus on myself and try to understand why my life isn’t going as I planned, which is to be in a healthy, fulfilled relationship.

While I pinch pennies, she flaunts her husband’s success as she shops and puts on pounds. Then one night under the influence of a bottle of wine, she complains about how he’s going through her money and the many issues with his children and his ex. The mother of his kids is apparently crazy and the kids are of that lineage. Meanwhile, I date many, but as soon, as I see some dysfunction, I bolt. 

One hot summer evening, my doorbell rings. It’s my friend’s husband who just happens to be in my area, while she is out of town.  He’s been drinking and wants to take a swim. Outside, in the dark, I sit by the pool averting my eyes as he peels off his clothing and swims nude. “Hey, take a swim with me?”, he insists.
“No thanks.” I uncomfortably respond.


He swims to the side of the pool places his arms on the edge. “I bet you’re a good kisser?”

‘What?’ I think, but say stunned. “Um, I guess, I can be. It’s been awhile.”

He goes on. “You’re great looking. I’m really attracted to you.”

I answer dumb founded. “Thanks but…”


He then jumps out of the pool, wraps a towel around his waist, and pounces spider-like quickly, to kiss my cheek then my neck. I freeze in disbelief, with the certain knowing, that this man has done this before and probably allot.  He sits beside me kissing my neck. “You are beautiful and God, your body is so great.”

I jump up and push him away. “What about Maggie?” I walk into my house. “Please, leave!” He follows.  “Yes, okay.” He exits to a bathroom. Walks out dressed then quickly down the hallway to the front door, it closes. I take a deep breath and begin to cry.


As life goes on, Maggie alternately brags about his successes, how they’re soul mates then complains about his drinking, taking care of his children, and money woes. I listen, but say nothing in my knowing.  She gains more weight.

I keep fit, date, am a bit lonely, but hold true to myself and what I want, which is to heal so that I will recognize dysfunction and attract a healthy relationship. She’s always late when we meet. I call her. She doesn’t answer the phone or call me back. Then suddenly, she resurfaces. We lunch. She stuffs food into her swollen body and shops buying everything in sight. I eat lightly and don’t waste my money.


Then one day, she’s late for lunch and no apology. She overeats, saying. “I’ve got to get this weight off. I also want to get my eyes done, but no money to do it.” We ride to a discount shop in her car that smells of cigarette smoke. “Smoking, is aging Maggie.  Stop smoking and maybe, you won’t worry about your eyes.” She laughs arrogantly. “All the really wealthy, international people smoke. Maybe, that’s why you weren’t in with the popular, wealthy kids in high school.” Now, I’ve had it, so respond. “Smoking is disgusting and has nothing to do with wealth or class and who cares about high school. We’re middle-aged.” She slams back, “Well, all the international people smoke.”


I am feeling total disgust as I look over at her. This woman is married to a man who’s gone through all her money. So now, she’s dependant on him. They live on credit cards. She takes care of his kids and talks about them all the time. I guess to prove to herself her value. If she is talking about and caring for kids, she will have less time to worry about  herself and what she has gotten herself in. She’s more overweight and with more wrinkles appearing, each time, I see her, add to that a double chin. All this on a woman, who spends hours putting on make-up and frets about her appearance and who wears what and who buys what and who’s who and on and on.

Had I been of low morals, her husband would have had an affair with me. I chuckle to myself. And now, this woman is trying to put me down for not smoking. My family is one of the most successful in the town that we once lived in and hers? Well, she likes to pretend that she is from great wealth or some such. And she didn’t even know me in high school. So, what she is saying about me is her fantasy.


As we shop, I watch, as she scours the bargains, hungrily filling her basket with faux jewels that she doesn’t need, because she has real ones from her grandmother. Or are they real?


On this day, I see my friend with fresh eyes, or are they the same eyes, that were accurate, when I first saw her and thought her phoney? She’s everything, I’m not, and would never want to be. Who she is, shows me, all that I am. I like me. I don’t like being with her, don’t like me when I am with her and have nothing more to say.


Back in the car, she blabs “Men don’t look at a middle-aged women.”

“Really, I date all the time and men at aerobics,  younger than me, come onto to me.”

“Well, they’re not really after you.”

“Oh then, what are they after?” (Might this be projection on her part?)

Here this woman who went from one marriage to another, has never been alone or dated or … and she puts me down for taking care of myself and not settling. Then in the next breath states because of my age that no man is interested.


In her pouting silence, I think to myself, ‘Goodbye, ‘friend’, I’ll leave you to the international, wealthy smokers. I’m tired of your smokecreen!’


Can anyone relate – keeping a friend too long that tries to make you feel bad about yourself? Then you wake-up and realize…



Conversation With A Man In The World of Dating – Part One


(For the sake of anonymity, the MAN’S image has been distorted)

MAN – It’s a well-known fact that men think about sex every 15 seconds or something like that? So, a guy is thinking about it pretty much all the time.


ANN – Of course, I’ve heard that.


MAN – Therefore, some men say whatever comes to mind, fishing to see what it will take to make a woman take the bait. That’s why some say such stupid, even crass things. It’s just marketing tactics and some men are better at it than others, or might I say, smoother. But, we all do it in some form, say something, anything, or try to get close, go for a kiss to see how she will react.


ANN – Men are always and continually testing the water even before any affection has been established?


MAN – Men, as you know, can have sex without affection.  And some will say or do anything to get to the sex, even, “I love you.” Myself, I would not be untruthful or manipulate. I have several daughters and told them that all boys are after is sex. I told them, no matter how sweet or nice the boys are to you, and it doesn’t mean that they don’t like you, but their goal is sex. I would make sure to demonstrate to the boys calling on my daughters how protective I am of them.

ANN – All women are  someone’s daughters, ever think of that?


MAN – ummm…

ANN – So, other attributes of a woman are not seen and recognized as important…her kindness, insights or intellect?


MAN –They are seen, but the sex is what a man is after.


ANN – So, if a woman has sex with a man on the first few dates before any real connection is established, will the man care for her more than if she didn’t have sex?


MAN – Depends on if the sex is good or not. (laugh)

ANN – Geez! And if sex is bad, according to him that is. She has just given an intimate sampling of herself to someone that doesn’t care about her. Actually, she was used for his masturbation. It appears to me like some men and women are just using each other as masturbation tools. If there is no affection, little interaction, and respect and trust hasn’t been established before sex occurs, what is it other than mutual masturbation?


MAN – Some women can have sex with a man without attachment, the same as a man. In college, a friend told me that he was going to stop the wining and dining and just jump to the question. “Do you want to cut to the chase and ‘F…’?” He said that more than half the women took him up on it.

ANN – Sad commentary, as what was that other than mutual masturbation?


MAN –Okay. But it shows some women are like men in this area.


ANN – I have been deeply in love and when you have and know the incredible profound connection of what sex is, you don’t want or have the need to diminish it in this manner.


MAN – Well, agree. I said my friend did this, not me.

ANN – So what, is this deal with the third date being the charm? Many men seem to think that the third date is when sex is ‘supposed’ to happen.


MAN – I think some women believe that if they have sex on the first date that the men will think that she is a slut. And by the third date that it is okay.


ANN – Oh, I see. But in the first three dates, how well can people really know one another? I would think that having sex then, would be premature. How about the concept of having sex when it just feels right and in the timing for both….that after time spent together and affection grows that it feels right to get that close to another human being?


MAN – Agree. That is probably best.


ANN – Would you stop dating a woman that you liked if she wasn’t ready to have sex on or soon after the third date…that she wanted to wait until she got to know you and felt cared for and safe? And who knows when this will occur…


MAN – If I really liked her, it wouldn’t matter. But at some point, sex either occurs or you stop dating.


ANN – Well, sure. You need to feel that attraction and excitement. And when that excitement builds, it cannot only be fun, but great, in fact incredible!


MAN – Men are focused on the finishing line. 

ANN – Like some deal that they are closing.  Pursue her, have sex. Done! Goal Scored! Sex is as close as two people can get on the physical. It is a body, mind, spiritual connection. Why would you want to get that close to someone that you didn’t know well and didn’t share a great affection for?


Man – Agree. But most men are made differently and most don’t think this way. If they can get it, they will take it.


ANN – Sex isn’t something that you ‘get’. It’s something that you give. Look at the respective anatomy, a man gives to a woman and she receives. A man injects his emotions and who that he is into a woman. It is work for a woman to get into her feelings and to process all this. Unless, she can cut herself off from her emotions and be like a man. But why really would a woman want to do this – lose herself to become ‘manlike’?


MAN – Some do. But I can see what you are talking about.

ANN – It’s been documented that a man lives longer and happier with a woman in his life and a woman is happier and lives longer without a man. And this is much more to do with the many things that the feminine does for a man, not just the sex, don’t you think?

MAN – Definitely, a man likes the security of coming home or being at home with a woman and family that cares for him. Where he can be himself and relax.
ANN – And feel the woman’s nurturing spirit?
Of course, women have these needs also, but is usually doing most of the nurturing so it is more work on her part.

MAN – Yes, for sure.

ANN – If you met a woman  that you liked and knew that she was promiscuious, had sex with many men and could operate in this area like a man. Would you be hesitant or want a relationship with her?

MAN – (long pause) I – I wouldn’t like it. I wouldn’t want to think about it. It would make me wonder…I – I am not sure.

ANN – Do you think that most men would answer similarly to you?

MAN – (ponders) Some – most – not sure.

ANN –  I have met so many men who complain that their ex-wives weren’t into sex. That they just didn’t like it. I always wonder, hearing this, if the man has something to do with her not liking it?  I am very sexual and need that in a relationship. Yet, I have been in situations where a man turned me off so much that he probably ‘thought’ that I didn’t like sex when it was him, his words, or his behaviors that were the turn off.


MAN – There are women and some men, too, that aren’t that into sex.

ANN – Of course. But if a woman feels, safe, respected and valued, it gives her the space to bloom and when she does, she will shower the man with all that is her and that includes affection, sensuality and sexuality. And this doesn’t happen in one to three dates. It develops over time.

MAN – Sounds good to me.




The Needy Penis Award

More and more men these days are being revealed as having a NEEDY PENIS… 

DEFINITION OF NEEDY PENIS COMPLEX – Men that are NEEDY in their emotions, self-esteem, sexuality, are narcissitic, have little to no ablility to look at their issues, and project issues and problems onto others. They lie and betray, in order, to get their needy penis some attention. They may appear strong and self-assured, but are the exact opposite under their facade. They may and usually do have an accomplished, attractive, even beautiful wife or girlfriend, who may have no idea what this NEEDY PENIS is doing behind her back. Men with this complex often lead several different lives and are adept at lying and covering up.

Many  have a  ‘MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE COMPLEX’ in conjunction with the NEEDY PENIS COMPLEX – thinking because they have money and power that that they can do whatever that they want in life and get away with it. They often act in ways that eventually destroy everything good in their lives. They destroy  families, loved ones, career, and a ‘good’ reputation – even if it was a false one.

Similar traits are: they first lie and believe that they are believed in their lies. They are self-delusional. Only eventually, because of pressure and facts contrary to their lies, they will admit  the truth and apologize. Usually, stating in a pathetic manner, that they will get help.  Oh poor NEEDY PENIS, now caught, feels so bad for their choices.  RIGHT! They just feel bad that they have been caught and revealed as what they really are.  

Most recent NEEDY PENIS AWARD RECEPITANTS:  Al Gore – John Edwards – Tiger Woods – Jesse James, Mel Gibson …

Past NEEDY PENIS AWARD RECEPITIANTS:  Bill Clinton – the man that decided that oral sex wasn’t sex at all… YEAH RIGHT!
and in his cover-up actually stated, “It depends on what  the meaning of IS — is.”  Then there is Jim Bakker…
Help me to fill out the lists here… Think back and add your Needy Penis recipitants to the list, both past and present, and as you do think of how they presented themselves before they were found out.
Look at and evaluate the traits that they have in common and otherwise. Ask yourself, if they can do whatever it is that they desire to fill their NEEDY PENIS COMPLEX, whatelse is a lie about them? And whatelse are they capable of doing and would they lie about to get whatever it is that they want and need to fill up their empty self-esteem?
They may be capable of  STICKING it to everyone who is in their life or anyone that they meet and may have the ability to betray us all.

Become aware of the traits of both these complexes, So, that you may be more astute and avoid interacting, trusting, or having relationships with these characters. Because chances are that they will NOT change or become more self-aware, stop lying, or fill their emotional needs on their own to become a healthy, giving, honest human man.

Sure, you want to give them the benefit of the doubt as that is what the feminine does. This is the expressoin of some of our prominent traits … compassion, empathy, caring and understanding. And the Needy Penis knows and counts on this in the feminine.

 I was once married to a Needy Penis and in my experience, they rarely, if ever, change.

And having written this, of course, there are many men who are great and don’t have these issues. What this is about, are those men who so obviously do, and how they have conned the women in their lives and the public.


WHAT is it that a man, you are dating, can either say or do that turns you SO OFF that  you know, RIGHT THEN that you will never go out with him again, much less become intimate?  If married, or in a relationship, what can turn you so off  that the mood is completely gone and it may take time to recover to feel affectionate again…if ever?