My ‘good’ friend…

???????????????????????????????Some people refer to ‘everyone’ they meet as their ‘good friend’ …even people they have just met, or actually, barely even know…

I have found that people who do this, actually are a ‘real, or good’ friend to few if any…as ‘their claim’ of a ‘good friend’ is shallow, meaningless, and empty…

A good friend is few and far between…and claiming it before it is … is like saying ‘I love you’ to everyone you meet, before you even know them…

Friendship takes time to grow, expand and develop… just like love does…

It’s offensive and off-putting to express serious feelings too fast and prematurely. It’s infringing on boundaries, controlling and often times, agenda-filled… as in, since you are my ‘good friend’ you are indebted to me in some regard…’What can you do for me? What can I ‘get’ from you? How will ‘you’ be useful to ‘me’?’  Their claim on you is self-serving. It appears false because it is false as it’s too fast to be sincere and to be based in any sort of reality.

It’s wearing your heart on your sleave and claiming something that isn’t yours to claim… to sway, manipulate, to control, to claim power over the person you are ‘claiming’ a connection with, to smooze, to ‘associate’, affiliate yourself with, to become too familiar too quickly, to make oneself ‘appear’ popular, and is often used to name drop…

I find it offensive for someone to call me their ‘good friend’ before they know me…it’s presumptive, too familiar and infringes on my boundaries… and I immediately become suspicious of motives…

Meeting someone once and having lunch or dinner with them … does not make you ‘good friends’… And over the Internet, interacting is not being good friends… someone you have never laid eyes on is NOT your ‘good friend’ and certainly does NOT love you… as they don’t really know you and you don’t really know them…

Is the Internet contributing to people thinking someone they barely know is a ‘good friend’? It’s fun to interact with those on the Internet, but they are not your ‘good friends’… reality is that you could pass them on the street and might not even recognize them… yet some share their heart, deepest thoughts and lives with these ‘virtual’ strangers and think these people that they have never met ‘really’ hold them in regard and care… It’s being superficial and inane.

The Internet is a place to share ideas and information with others…occasionally interacting this way is brought into ‘real life’…
and friends are made… but….’Good friends’ are in person, day to day…

You may have an attraction,, an interest or feel that you would like to get to know them better… but what you feel or think in a first encounter or over the Internet can turn out to be not the case when you actually and really do get to know them…

Friendship is precious, and as in anything worthwhile, it takes time to develop.

It’s better to have one ‘real’ good friend than many superficial ones who really don’t know you and whom you really don’t know. These are called ‘acquaintances’ and they have the ‘possibility’ of becoming friendships. But to become a good, trustworthy, reliable and true friend takes time, experiences, interactions, compatibility, similar values, standards and commitment through good times and bad and not many friendships hold up under all this …

Acquaintance – One’s ‘slight’ knowledge of or friendship with someone.

There will be many ‘acquaintances’ in your life and few ‘good friends’… in fact, you will be considered fortunate as it is rare to have even one really good friend during your lifetime….

So be leery of anyone who tries to claim you as a ‘good’ friend, when they barely know you and you barely know them. Also anyone who ‘claims’ to love you too quickly when it is impossible yet for them to even know you … so impossible that they could ‘love’ you … RUN AWAY FAST!

Agree or not?…

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