jabs at their friends. Ever been around this? No matter what you say, do, achieve, or try, even if you are down in the dumps, this friend takes a ‘jab’ at you…

They aren’t genuinely happy for your successes and not encouraging of your endeavors… they seem to want to pour onto you that you aren’t ‘good’ enough on some level. And it is ‘sneaky’ how they do it. Because it’s a bit of love, and friendliness then wham.. a bit of kindness then wham! It’s a hug, then a punch, then a jab… then a smile, then a snide remark…

Sure, most all women can be catty, at times, but being catty is not in my nature and I don’t pull it out, until I have been punched so often that ‘finally’ I react. And when I finally do react … I can explode either small or large… so watch out….

So, what makes one person ‘think’ that they can treat a friend in this manner? What about one person makes them do the jabbing and the other, ‘the one being jabbed at’, react, or try to ignore it for as long as they can?

Is it ‘the jabbers’ insecurity, their need to control, their need to feel good about who they are, because for some reason they don’t? Is it that they have little awareness of what they say and do? Is it that they don’t respect themselves, so they don’t respect others?

Okay, let’s go deeper here. As I have lived and experienced much, I have come to a realization that ‘equals’ … those of ‘like kind’ usually make ‘better’ friends… in that, if one friend has few resources, the one with less, might be secretly angry at the one with more. And this has become really apparent in this day and time.

Addictive people, alcoholics and druggies don’t mix well with those who do not have these addictions. Liberals don’t usually mix well with conservatives, insecure people feel more comfortable around those who are insecure. Secure people attract to one another… so on and so forth… (And this can bring us to another topic, then why is it ‘promoted’ and are we ‘expected’ to tolerate and ‘like’ everyone as in PC? Because it just doesn’t work.)

I am not saying we shouldn’t leave others alone and let them live as they wish. I am saying, ‘like kind, likes kind’.. this is even stated in the wisdom of the Bible…

“Whoever touches pitch gets dirty, and whoever associates with a proud person becomes like him. Do not lift a weight too heavy for you or associate with someone mightier and richer than you. How can the clay pot associate with the iron kettle? The pot will strike against it and be smashed. Sirach :13…  If you read though Sirach, there is much wisdom concerning things such as this…

But then opposites also attract. I enjoy people from all walks of life. I do not judge someone on appearance, or what they have or own…  I like them for who they are and what their interests are, their heart, or the gleam in their eye… many different things attract…

When I was 12, one of my sisters accidently knocked my two front teeth out with a miniature golf club. At the time, the dentist put silver crowns on my two front teeth. (stupid dentist, but that is another story)… So for a year, I had to endure these sliver things and I also had thick wavy hair. And in that time, it was the blond, straight look that we all wanted. When the weather was humid, my hair took over the world. So, here I was 12 with two silver teeth, thick wavy hair(which I had no idea how to control and there were not products then as we have now) and thin as a rail. I felt like I was the ugliest girl in the world. So, I GET IT and am sensitive to others when I sense that they have low-self esteem, or are going through ‘rough’ times and I would never want to intentionally cause them distress…

Today, I know how to manage my hair, and what I once thought my worst attribute, has become one of my best. Now, my teeth are perfect. So all that was terrible, has turned out fine. But I can recall how badly I felt about myself during that year, that impressionable, insecure year. Kids bullied and laughed at me and some even called me fat when I was thin as a rail. I was a ballet dancer and obsessed about my weight. It was a terrible time in my life. So, again I state that I don’t ever want to intentionally harm another who is going through a rough and insecure time… as we all have them…

I have had resources and I have been completely broke… and it didn’t affect who I was. I was still me. Money does not make you who you are… but some seem to have ‘their identity’ tied to it… and they jab at their friends who have more, or attain some success, or they brag if they have more than others, or they can’t be happy for others when they attain something.

Seems fat people are jabby at the thin and fit. While a thin person is expected to encourage and be kind to an over-weight person (kind of like the race thingy today, whites ‘must’ treat blacks with kid gloves, while blacks ‘apparently’ can treat whites anyway they want).

The less attractive jab at those who are more attractive … calling them ‘narcissistic'(one of the more over-used and misused words today) and this has become rampant from those less fit and less attractive.

Unhappily married people are jabby at those who date and have freedom. Single people jab at those who are married… Some even try to steal spouses.

Some people are continually and always trying to ‘one up’ others, bragging and trying to ‘prove’ (to whom, I don’t know?) that they know more, have more, are more….social climbers, social braggers. It’s all so stupid and inane. Just sit back and observe someone who does this. Don’t get hooked into it, just listen and watch and you will be chuckling in internal amusement at their insecurity and pathetic lack of self-awareness…

Why aren’t more people content where they are and have the self-awareness to see themselves? Sure, we all have our blind sides at times. It’s human and part of the process to growth and it’s self-awareness to uncover deep seated issues. Some are on that journey and some are clueless….And sometimes, the ‘once’ clueless are made aware by life circumstances that change and give them the opportunity to become more … and by more I mean ‘better’ people into the core of their being.

My soul is the most important part of me…I care for my physical self as God gave me a body to live in and to care for… but it’s my heart and soul that matter most, in that, I try to live honorably. I know when I am off my course and it troubles me until I get back on it. Just like I know when I have eaten something, or too much and my body feels out of sorts.

I try to live by the ten commandments and to not be addicted to chemicals that can distort my mind and body… and ultimately my soul…

Are the seven deadly sins running rampant today? Becoming more and more prevalent and intense. Is this what is going on? Is it jealousy, envy, greed, lust, gluttony, etc. Others think, if ‘they’ have it, I want it, too!…And they try to take whatever it is from others and try even to corrupt and to snatch your soul…

Are so many so eaten up inside with evil that they can’t appreciate where they are, the choices that ‘they’ made, the genetics that ‘they’ were given…the circumstances that ‘they’ were born into… that everyone wants to be someone else, or to take from another anything that they can.

I have been jabbed when I was a gawky, insecure child and I have been jabbed when I looked fab and was on top of my game. Just jabbed for different reasons… jabbed because ‘they’ could sense my insecurity then jabbed to take me down a notch…

I have been jabbed by alcoholics because I prefer, at times, to drink water. I have been jabbed for working out by those lazy and overweight. I have been jabbed for not smoking. I have been jabbed for not doing drugs… I have been jabbed by all my sisters, friends, husbands and enemies.

And as painful as it’s all been, I still remain true to myself… and I have even been jabbed for that… as unhappiness loves company… 

I have rambled on a bit… so back to topic… why do some so-called friends ‘jab’ at others? Ha!

So, in your opinion, what is this about? What makes some women so catty?