Just because a man is big and 'appears' strong...
Just because a man is bigger than a woman, doesn't mean that the woman isn't stronger...
It appears by what I am observing and what I have been told, that many men these days are almost completely ego-driven... and that they have 'very' fragile egos...
That they are whiny, complaining, weak, mean, cruel and abusive and all of these behaviors stem from the same origin... a fragile ego.
Is it the economy, the stress and uncertainty that is bringing this more to the surface?
Emotional strength is what makes a person 'really' strong... not a strong exterior, or facade. Well, of course, it's best when the exterior matches the interior... and I guess, that's what is so disturbing to interact with a big, strong man to realize that he is a baby inside. Myself and many others are seeing many men with strong exteriors, but with interiors that are
Certainly men should(I actually don't like that word 'should') be and are better off, if aware and in touch with their emotions and feelings as that is what makes them 'hopefully' able to process them and to 'really' be strong. But what 'seems' to be happening is that, 'instead' of processing emotions... Many are staying stuck in them...
Most all of us know when a man is hurt by a woman that it takes him longer than a woman who is hurt by a man to get over it.
That is, perhaps, because, many men 'try to deny' that they are hurting, or that they even feel and have emotions... which causes those emotions to become stronger in them, and then they either 'explode', stay, or get even more stuck... hence, so many men being abusive or whiny. Cruelty, abuse, whiny, negating all come from the same place and that place is a 'fragile ego' and an inability to process emotions... it's just comes in different expressions or 'explosions'...
When a man tells me that he is looking for a 'strong' woman ... I suspect, or actually 'know' that he is an emotionally weak man (looking for a woman to 'take care' of him on some level.) As the natural instinct of a 'real man' is to take care of a woman.
Women may be smaller, more soft on the exterior, but most are emotionally strong as nails these days... and not just 'these days', but they always have been...
I workout all the time and have all my life, lift weights and am in great shape, but I will never be physically stronger than most men... but emotionally, I bet I am stronger than most all.
Some men are escaping into Internet porn and dating sites... even though they are married, or in relationships. They are 'hiding' behind computers enjoying the thrill of creating a facade as they flirt and pursue women, when these men really aren't available. They create this online BS dialogue that makes them temporarily 'feel' desired and attractive escaping into the thrill of the chase. Then when the women being pursued pushes to meet, or to have a 'real' connection, the men vanish. I hear this all the time from women. And how stupid is this? I say very! It's actually pathetic.
There is an excellent movie produced and acted in by Kirk Cameron called FIREPROOF... I recommend that all men wanting to learn how to be a better man and a better partner to see this movie.
The below was sent to me by one of my readers, I hear similar things daily... and I agree wholeheartedly:
"The
Where are the real men? Where are the old fashion commitments? If a man would go back to being a man who takes the true spiritual leadership role in and of the family, women would probably enjoy being a woman in the true sense. By no means am I putting men down, just tired of games and immature men."
A man is a son, until he takes a wife, a girl is a daughter for the rest of her life....
Okay men, I understand that women have issues also, but if you are a real man with her, her issues will be diminished. Because many women, I know an
d hear from, are 'having to', if not 'needing to', or even being forced into taking the role of men in relationships because men aren't being men. And women are getting really tired of it.Most men want a feminine woman... not some mannish version... right? So why men do you expect her to take care of you and to act like a man?
We want a man to be stronger, so that we can be softer than...
We want a man to be bigger, so that we can be smaller than...
Most women want to feel that they are protected...
This is the natural and balanced order of male/female...
So, men it's up to you...
Posted by Ann at 3/23/2012 12:23 PM 
Categories: Men
Tags: real men women Bible leadership weak strong abusive angry ego driven Fireproof protected Mommy's boy
Categories: Men
Tags: real men women Bible leadership weak strong abusive angry ego driven Fireproof protected Mommy's boy
Accurate article. You are exactly correct. Where are the real man?
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Fabulous article! Ann there are fewer real men than ever. They are either feminized or assholes.
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Ann another good one. I agree that a man has to be a man and that allows the woman to relax and to be herself. If she is having to be on guard, take care of things that she shouldn't be then she gets unhappy and irriated at the man and shuts down. This is simple biology and what my Dad taught me. I never forgot and it works.
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I agree with everyone word that you wrote. When men become men again the world will heal.
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I meant to write I agree with every word that you wrote. You have a way of capturing exactly what is going on in the world. I love this site.
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I like your comment, "the world will heal"...In my opinion,it is not just men causing the problems of the relationships between men and women. I truly agree with the fact many men have not lived up to their responsibility of being a "strong" leader of the family. But as women we need to actually choose and make better choices and demand more for ourselves and not settle for the immature man that thinks it's all about him and what we can do for them. A true loving relationship is one where both the man and the women place the needs of the other before their own. When a person thinks it's all about themselves...Run! There can not be a bigger RED FLAG for a committed union between a man and woman...
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Good men are harder to find. That's the truth!
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Ann wow you expressed that so well and it is so true.
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I feel like you have the small ego, not men. You're trying to make yourself feel better by saying women are emotionally stronger than most men and by saying that you're emotionally stronger than nearly all men. The >40% victims of domestic violence are men, and ignored because women are viewed as weak and not responsible for their own actions (that's why the law favors them). Men that don't hit women decide not to retaliate because they were taught that it is wrong, not because they are emotionally weak.
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didier, your comment is defensive and without merit . It makes no sense.
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didier, your comment is defensive and without merit . It makes no sense.
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I agree with you Ann. Men who get so defensive are the men you are writing about. LOL
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what do different people mean when they state that a man is, or is not, "strong." It seems there are many different kinds of strong, and not all covalent. Need to define.
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Emotionally strong...
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I know men who are not bothered by enemy fire, but cringe before an abusive female.
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Fear of women.. wanting to please mommy.
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In my opinion a strong man is one that has character and integrity...He is mature emotionally puts his family's needs before his own...Loves and adores his woman...likes to see her happy...wants to protect and take care of the family...does not play control games he gives his woman a reason to respect and love him.
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Agree this is what a man is. I want to take care of her and my family. Not her take care of me. She gives me her loves by her actions but I take care of my family.
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You write the truth. I feel just as you said.
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Real men are where you'd least likely expect them. You want emotional strength? Try living with disabilities that have been inflicted upon you, changing your life's course for the remainder of your life. Oh by the way, it's "Frail male Ego" that better suits your description, fragile indicates a tendency towards being easily broken. These whiners are long past broken. I used to be the prototypical do anything and everything kind of guy. That all but disappeared after the car crash caused by, wait for it, a criminal illegal alien female and her 3 co-conspirators. Life will never be what it was. Enjoy life while you're still healthy, whole and able bodied, you just never know how long that will be.
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Wow! Andy thank you for your response..
You are so correct when you have something happen to you that takes you down.. if it doesn't break you, it will make you stronger.
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Ann, I am thankful to have found your blog.
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Amen, me too. I want to be a real man, a good husband and father someday. Thanks for the insight Ann.
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Wow! Thanks guys! Lots of interesting articles with insights..
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Chad, take Ann's suggestion and watch the movie "Fireproof", it has a very good message...Also, for being a father there is a movie called "Courageous"
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Thank you Beverly, I saw "Fireproof" once a while back and agree, excellent message! I never buy movies, but did that one. I will see "Courageous" very soon at your advice. Thank you!
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COURAGEOUS is even BETTER THAN FIREPROOF---it shows good men and how fathers take care of their families--although I havent seen Hunger Games, I know ill hate it. It shows guys as weak and women as strong--were doing it wrong AGAIN..i wouldnt mind if H' games makes money BUT it should be a message for girls NOT to act like the 'eternal tomboy'. In front of guys--they are usually wired to be OUR protectors. Like attracts like..Ladies usually attract gentlemen providing shes smart and not 'cheap'. Its said that one man could make many women pregnant at the same time...if their stupid...wow
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It's time for the name callers and whinners to get to the rear and make room for the successful bussinessman and proven problem solver from the state of Massachusetts to take charge....If you don't have a solution to the problem then shut the hell up!!!....Mitt Romney 2012....Because you won't hear him whinning.
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Men don't want a manly woman to compete with at home, they also want a "soft place to fall". Treat your man like a king and he will treat you like a queen. Men are real simple, satisfy them sexually, treat them kindly and feed them, and you will get more than enough in return
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Tara, you must not have read the article. That only works if a man is a King and knows to treat a woman as his queen..
What you wrote actually is an insult to men.
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It does seem like there are less of them, but there are real men out there, looking for real women. Women who know how to make them feel like a man. What I wrote is not an insult, it's the truth. Men are that simple.
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Sorry Tara maybe your man is that simple. I want to take care of my wife and family. If I thought my wife thought like you do it would make me sick.
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Tara you are saying men are simple and dumb just give them eveything they think that they want and you will be happy. LOL! Sorry it doesn't work that way. Men want you to think like that. It's what they are counting on and one reason there are no real men any longer. You are way off.
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I didn't say men are "dumb". Their needs are simple. We are the ones who over complicate things.
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So treat men like a child or better yet and infant and you will have a great situation. Gag me! Feed, diaper, and placate them so they won't cry or throw tantrums.
Did you even read this accurate, on target article?
Most women don't want a man to be like a child. I guess you like it and do.
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I don't understand how taking care of your man's needs is treating him like a baby. This comment is so far off from my point. And no I wouldn't want a child. I have a real man.
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Oh my God! Tara! Sounds simple but that doesn't work nor should it. It's ignorant. You are making the man be like some dog. Sure some men are dogs in fact many are. When you love someone you want to care for their needs but the way you put it is sickening. I love your article Ann and the replies are very interesting. Men are becoming either too feminine or complete jerks. There are some good ones but there has been a lack of male role models and many men don't have a clue as to what a man is. Have fun with your Ozzie and Harriet dream, Tara! LOL!
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I guess I do live the Ozzie & Harriet dream...lol. I have found a real man who comforts and protects, works hard and takes care of me. Someone with old fashioned values. It took a long time to find him though! And yes they do need a "soft place to fall", a peaceful home with lots of love and attention.
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Ozzie and Harriet was no dream. It was stupid. Thinking, educated women want a man who can talk share. A man like you describe is like a child. Ann's article is saying how women feel about child/men. They are a big drag. We want real men not children. You must like being a momma. That's your choice. A man's home is his castle and a woman creates that and that is a good balance if he works and supports the family. That is cool. But otherwise, I don't want a needy man. I agree with Ann. Ann you rock and you get it big time!
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Thinking, educated women... yes I am, talk & share, yes we do. I don't understand the animosity. I do help to make the home a castle. I fulfill his needs, he fulfills mine. There's no momma/needy thing going on. I guess I'll leave the blogging to the pro, I don't seem to be able communicate correctly. Just wanted to say, there is hope.
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What you said is feed them, have sex with them and give them what they want. Men are simple. In some regards that may be true but can't you see how you come across. What one likes another wouldn't but no one I know likes a baby man. How you discribe men gives me the creeps but if you are happy that's great. I need a man with some intellect and I don't want to treat him like a child that I pat on the head and do what he wants to make his all happy all the time. LOL! You seem to miss the whole point of the article for some reason.
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I am no pro blogger but I can read what someone writes and see what's behind it. Hope? What does that mean? If I need to treat a man like you do, I would rather be alone forever.
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Hope=there are are real men out there. I have one. I'm sorry that you would rather be alone than to treat a man kindly, have sex and food. LOL... Lighten up dear.
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Tara you are twisting words. That is not what I said. I said if I need treat a man like he is a child then I would rather be alone. I always treat my dates 'nice' and 'kindly' and expect that in return. You have some sort of a chip on your shoulder. Maybe you aren't as content as you try to convience others that you are. The way that you talk about a man is horrible in my mind.
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The man I am dating is cooking me dinner tomorrow night. A man does for a woman too as in feeds, makes sure she is satisfied sexually and takes care of her and he is not a 'simple' man. Woman that think like you do might be a reason that men are such goofs.
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I agree with you Leslie. LOL!
I agree with Ann's article. I love this site! Ann writes the best things.
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I agree with Ann. A woman needs a soft place to fall not a man. I am the strength in my family not that my wife isn't strong but it is my duty as a man to hold her strong.
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LACK of role models is right. even tv shows women all similar to the 'amazon' female..I like it when the there would be shows of men only figuring out stuff..old time westerns were shows that had all men in them--it is Hollywood though because many women had to be extrememly tough..I also believe that Queen Victoria brought back a certain feminity--some say she didnt do it cause she was a leader. I believe it would take a women leader to bring back being a 'lady' BTW im gettin too tired of BLACK clothes (unless they're dresses) all year around--pastels arent in still--even in spring-the only ones who wear them are girls under 10 (sigh)
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Women are turning into men and men into women. It is twisted and sick. Men don't know how to behave and treat a lady and women don't know how to be ladies.
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WHAT WOMAN WANTS A MAN WHO NEEDS A SOFT PLACE TO FALL. THATS WHATS WRONG WITH MEN TODAY. THEY ARENT MEN. MEN NEED COMFORT BUT THEY NEED TO COMFORT AND PROTECT WOMEN OR WHO NEEDS HIM? NOT ME!
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How sad is your comment Tara...satisfy them sexually, be kind and feed them...You make men sound like they are two legs short of being a DOG.
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That's funny... that wasn't my intent, sorry.
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Tara, you state that you have a good man and for that I am very happy for you.
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Yes, blessings on your great relationship Tara. I am happy for you both.
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Mental weakness can null physical strength. See SEAL training...
And emotional weakness will prohibit action, there are so many women acting in the conservative movement and I think men are intimidated because this is not a battle of strength, it's a battle of will!
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Good points Mike and agree.
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mental toughness is the wildcard. as in can most men listen to a screaming baby for 3 hours and not lose composure? i can. yes it is really anoyying but it goes with the job. glad all my kids are grown now LOL
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Good point Bradley.. most men couldn't handle that or those types of things.. it's a woman who can.. while doing nine other things at the sametime.
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Good points! Good article as usual Ann!
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WELL SAID. MEN ARE BIG BABIES. GIRLS I KNOW DONT EVEN WANT ONE.
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Patience is strength.
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Yes
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Good word
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Men need to be men. It is getting stupid these days.
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This article is great. This while site is great. Keep it coming.
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but this media frenzy over it when the facts are not actually known is outrageous.."
Just like the outrage over the Casey Anthony case. Everyone, all media included, should have kept quiet until the complete investigation and trial was done.
Excellent article Ann.
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Sometimes the stronger a man tries to appear the weaker he is.
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I think when men say they want a strong woman, lots of girls who were raised with RADICAL feminism 'eat it up' they think the guy is good, but in fact, he really dont know himself too well. I've even met guys who havent been in a fight or have trained to fight someone who starts to protect you. the silly radical feminists did such a diservice to young girls today, they want strong guys but the guys are confused. Many girls today have such a POTTY MOUTH. Guys who would be good with them will go after 'cougars' because at least they are LADIES. Their MOTHERS were
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Like this article... Although I've never really felt a need to be protected... That's what my .38 is for!
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Ann, you are a real beauty!
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You display a lot of strength Ann, you are the bomb!
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Some men have become feminized because so many women have forgotten how to be a real woman...and a real lady....Poor guys! I always thank them for being a gentleman. There is just no pleasing all of us....if they simply open a door for a lady, they aren't sure if they will be appreciated or slapped! WHEN did life get so complicated?! A man with a tender heart is attractive, but they should always be manly and masculine! They can be both!
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I agree, Bonnie!
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Hey Ann, glad to hear you're making progress with the recovery. Strength, interesting topic. After decades of liberals neutering the Male population of America, its Amazing that any Man has his masculinity intact! I never bought into that business. I have always followed my own path. Fiercly Independant from an early age, I wasn't going to fall for that trap. I am a Man!...
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thank you! i work in sales and we carry materials (sometimes 100 lbs +) to our customers' vehicles. we never know when a trades person is hurting from injury or whatever. it happens to everyone, so we just do it. some of our customer have major problems, replacements of joints, etc. the only time i have ever had a problem is carrying things out for a lady. a guy will let you carry a 10 lb box so he doesn't spill his coffee. i have had women get indignant because i opened a door when they had an 8' long box. it makes a fella gun-shy. but i will say that the vast majority of people have been appreciative of a held door or other such courtesy.
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