Interview with a never married 50 plus-old-man…

???????????????????????????????I wanted to interview a middle-aged man (pictured,but hidden. He asked repeatedly to be on my site.) who has never been married and has no children. I wanted to ask him questions in person, and he answer, but he ‘insisted’ that I write the questions down, so that he had time to ‘think’ about his answers. Bad sign right there…

My other interviews with men have always been me asking questions in person and they answer right there. They didn’t ‘need’ the time to ‘orchestrate’ their answers.

This man’s fully orchestrated ‘for effect’ answers reveal a man who has little to no connection to his heart, is in his head and without the ability to really connect, or to see himself in relation to another. He is ‘mother-controlled’ and looking for a woman to take care of him. I almost didn’t even put this up because I found it so trite and mundane, but then realized, it is great for awareness.

???????????????????????????????I have known this man for 14 years, so know what’s real and what’s BS. I have written what I know to be true in parenthesis, to reveal the self-delusional pretense in the blah, blah, ‘politically correct’ BS that he ‘thinks’ a woman ‘wants’ to hear. He ‘tries’ to be so ‘correct’ that this man doesn’t live fully and certainly doesn’t know how to love, or what love even is. He is looking to ‘feel good about himself’. So ladies, if a man gives you these type of BS answers run away. And men, if you identify with this too much, you are conning and fooling yourself…
1. Why do you think it is that you have never married?

Extreme financial instability for one and all that encompasses. I’ve had a lot of terrible luck with career layoffs and I never wanted to burden a woman with that. (When I first met him, he told me he had a significant amount of money. So, a con right off the bat and plenty of poor people are married. So, what kind of an answer is this really?)

I’m very independent and never really felt a need to get married during my youth. (He told me he was engaged when he was in his twenties and the woman cheated.) Having children wasn’t important to me either. (He told me he didn’t want kids then that he did. I think he got some woman pregnant, but she miscarried and, even then, he didn’t marry her. From what I observe, he is too self-centered to have children.)

Also, continually spending too much time with women who I knew were wrong for me early in the relationship, expecting circumstances to change. (Why spend time with women, he knew were wrong for him? Because his intentions are usury, not honorable. I wonder does he think about the woman’s time he wasted, if he ‘knew’ that they were ‘wrong for him’?) I am also guilty of not putting forth enough effort, not dating more, and that is my fault. (In the 14 years, I have known him, he is usually ‘hooked’ into some woman, then they break it off and he whines about something that was wrong with ‘her’. It was her family. She had cats. He hates cats. So, why date a woman with cats? She spent too much money on her horses, or something else that he found so distasteful.  He dated a woman that leased a Ferrari for him. I inquired, if he liked her. He shrugged, stating, “Not really.”  So, ummm, why was he with her? Then he will date older women who have money and when they break up, he will state that she is stuck up and too old for him.)

???????????????????????????????2. Do you want to marry?

Yes, as long as there is a healthy balance in every area of our lives, emotional, financial goals. (Ladies, this is a man that is after a woman to support him both financially and emotionally. He has no idea how to ‘support’ a woman in anyway. He is emotionally stunted and may very well have some severe personality disorder. Such as narcissist depression, bi-polar, narcissist/avoidant/borderline disorder). He is always all about himself. Something is always wrong with the woman and he doesn’t look at what is wrong in him. He is cheap, pessimistic and negative in his outlook and depression runs in his family of origin. Truth is, if anyone has never married and they are over 40, they are usually hiding something about themselves, have an inability to love and commitment or have personality disorders or all three and from my observances through many years, this man has all many defects both able to be seen and that he tries to hide from others as he tries to create a nice guy facade. “Hey nothing is wrong with me,  it’s the women.”

3. Why do you want a woman in your life, or do you really?

Men and women ‘should’ both bring positive influences to each other. I want to bring uplifting experiences to a woman, it ‘should’ be the same for her. I want to give love and receive it. Once again, if there is a healthy balance there, I think marriage would be great. I’ve been a very independent man. I don’t need a woman to make my life happy, I want one to ‘enhance’ it, as I would hope to hers. (This answer reveals it all… ‘politically correct BS’.  Wanting and doing are two different things.  Also this man has depression. He is negative and little about him is positive.)

4. Do you think after being single all of your life that you would find it difficult to adapt to being with a woman in a marriage?

Of course, some fundamental challenges like sharing the same space and becoming used to having another personality around would be the biggest. We are all creatures of habit, therefore, a period of adjustment involving each others daily routines would have to be addressed. A strong bond would make this period go smoothly rather than being a struggle. Small, quirky things would work themselves out as long as both are dedicated to the success of the marriage, that’s the easy part. (Easy? How would he know?) The honeymoon period would involve allowing for each others needs, their likes and dislikes, and making changes with respect and love. Sure, the daily interaction would be an adjustment at my age, but, that’s what the dating period is for: to see if it’s a good fit for both. (BS answer. He has revealed to me that he goes through times that he can’t stand being around people. He gets so depressed that he prefers being alone, so his answer here is politically correct lies including downright lying.)

5. Do you respect your mother?

Yes. She is a very caring person, was a wonderful wife, and an extremely hard worker during her career. She has her quirks like anyone else. (He has told me repeatedly that he hates his mother and his sister. He is jealous of how close they are and from what he says about his sister, he is jealous of her. She is married, successful and has two children. She is everything he is not. He gave this answer because he ‘knows’ having a ‘good’ relationship with his mother is the ‘politically correct’ thing to say. In my interaction with him during the years, I will say that he basically hates women and just uses them for an ego boost or to pass the time.)

6. What about a woman attracts you?

Emotional stability,(He often flips into deep depression. I have seen him throw tantrums when he was jealous of what another man has, or if he can’t get what he wants.)  financial independence, (He has financial issues, is cheap, and fearful.Any woman with him would have to support herself in all areas, financial and emotional) a confident attitude, a caring soul. (He is so insecure that he needed time to think about these answers.) A woman who is as comfortable in a bathing suit as she is in a Chanel dress. (Chanel ‘suit’… is that what he means?. He doesn’t even know what Chanel is. He said this to ‘appear’ sophisticated. He often dresses inappropriately and he wants a woman who is comfortable in Chanel.  I have never seen him in a properly worn suit and tie. This statement is laughable. What he wants is a woman who can buy these kind of clothes for herself. He takes a woman for burgers and to the movies. Where would she wear Chanel with this guy?)

A best friend as well as a lover. A big sense of humor. (He is usually droll, depressive and negative.) Someone who is relaxed and takes life as it comes. (He can’t handle the simplest of tasks as in picking up the correct thing at a grocery store. He is looking for someone to keep him lifted out of his depression. So, is this a man who would be there during some real life tragedy or trauma?)

7. What about a woman does not attract you?

Narcissism. Someone always thinking of herself before anyone else. A player. (He is the narcissist. Everything is always about him. All he ever thinks about is him self. He whines, He is depressed and negative. He plays at life and relationships. Example: He watches NIP/TUCK and identifies with Christian the playboy.) Confident women scare him. So, he calls them narcissists. It’s classic projection. He wants a woman who will put him first, like a mother would a child and will be there when he wants her to be. He cares little about what she would need or want).

8. What do you think that you have to offer a woman?

A warm heart, a trusting personality, ‘a giver of what he can’, (This is a big clue. Ladies, get it?) a good sense of humor. I am far from perfect, but as long as a woman respects me,( as long as she can’t see through his BS) I’ll do anything for her and do what I can to make her happy. (He has an ego as big as the world. So, he needs a woman to ‘make him’ feel good about himself and to continually fan his fragile ego.)

9. What do you want a woman to bring to your life?

To be a partner in every way, through the good times and bad. (He has never sustained a relationship through bad times. He has never sustained a relationship. At the first sign of stress, change, or trouble, he shuts down or runs or the woman leaves him because she realizes he will not be there for her but he expects complete attention to his issues.)

10. How do you think your life would change were you married?

I believe that finding the right person would positively enhance my life. I really want that bond and special friendship that comes with a terrific marriage. Too many couples allow other things to tear them apart, children, relatives, money, jealousy. I would want to keep my marriage strictly between my wife and I, not allowing anything or anyone to come between our personal relationship. Friends that share selflessly, lovers with a deep, respectful, passionate connection: that’s my idea of marriage. (This answer is all blah blah. He has no idea, but ‘tries’ to appear like an authority. He has no a ability to have this kind of relationship. He is emotionally fragile, weak and fake.)

This man re-connects with me after failed situations with women. He shares all that is wrong and how he ‘was’ going to marry them…blah blah. All BS, he will never marry. I told him this 14 years ago and 14 years later he is in the same place, only with a heart condition, overweight, depression, aging rapidly and only God knows what else? As I inquire about his relationships, I realize, they weren’t even anchored in reality. It’s like women date him between their real guys. My gut tells me that they all leave or break up with him.

This man doesn’t have the ability to connect and to endure the good, the bad, and the in between, in a long term, committed relationship. He rushes in, thinks this is it, then quickly pulls away, shuts down or the women dump him. He likes the rev up, but can’t, or doesn’t know how to sustain reality.

So, I wondered what makes a man remain single until 50-plus, while ‘claiming to want’ to be married. I wanted to investigate it  and be able to reveal more insights, but… as you can see…the man is a wall of BS. HAHAHA! But is this the real insight?

I have encountered several never married men and many playboys and they all share commonalities and traits very similar to this man.  Only this man is one of the worst concerning fear of commitment… never married, no kids, never even owned a house, except to redo and turn it for profit. After his mother died, he moved into her house. An isolated, dingy, depressing place, that looks like a grandma’s house and he is making it his own. He even drives the car that she drove.

For more insight into this type of man… 

Love, relationships,  and marriage are messy, with up and downs, highs and lows. It takes self-evaluating and secure people to commit and to sustain a real relationship. And sure you need to be wise when choosing a mate, but if you never choose, or really ever commit….ummm…what does that say about you?…

So, from how this man answers, can you see who he is and what he is hiding from himself, what he is trying to hide from me and others, what he is afraid of, and what he is revealing with his trite, ‘politically correct’ answers? Have you interacted with similar men?

This man is now approaching 60 ,still never married, and still going from woman to woman… He rarely has photos of himself with these women or photos of the women. He told me none of them like photos. When it’s him that dislikes photos. He dislikes himself and has no ability to genuinely love another. I am wondering if  most of ‘his women’ aren’t all in his head.

(FYI…I have been married, divorced, had stepchildren, been deeply passionately in love and been hurt to my core and being around a man who has never risked for love, never really been committed is like being with an empty vessel of nothingness, a vapid void… They are always looking and never find. Always criticizing the women and even friend’s marriages. I got this man completely out of my life. I got tired of hearing his whining and knew none of my advice was being absorbed. It was a useless, empty interaction.)

145 thoughts on “Interview with a never married 50 plus-old-man…”

  1. I have met men exactly like this one with similar excuses and wants and it’s always what is wrong with the woman and never them. Run fast from this kind of man. Never married at 50 and not gay there is something wrong with him. The man interviewed is not even in reality. I think there are too many fake romance movies and books about romance that help to create people who live in their stupid head and not in real life.

  2. This man is all about his image and himself. He will never marry. His answers are like he is trying to impress and he doesn’t. I laughed.

  3. I really do not like to judge other people that way. Who knows what kind of experience this man made with women during his childhood and later. When I see some scary witches called mothers out there I wonder that men ever want to be around a woman again.

  4. I have met men like this. They are full of themselves and don’t commit to anyone but themselves. I love this site LOVE IT!

  5. I have heard these kinds of answers and you are correct about men like this. They appear to have all the answers and many excuses and they blame everyone but themselves. Men like this want to use women and don’t want to give. They can’t love because they are all about themselves. He wants arm candy and he wants to do nothing or give anything in return.

  6. There are a group of men who think that women are supposed to take care of them, look good, have money and the man just steps in and takes advantage. This man’s responses show me he is this kind of a man. No wise woman would be around him for any length of time and that is why he has lived so long without a marriage. Reality is no woman wants to be married to him. Who would?

  7. He’s a mama’s boy. no one will messure up. i have heard this kind of man talk before. Mama’s boys are all the same.

  8. I enjoyed reading this (especially the ().)
    My Mom always said, “you had to get ’em before they were forty or you could not mold them!”

  9. Another messed up guy going around messing up women. I have dated men like this for a brief time. All a terrible experience. Men who have never married by this late in life don’t know how to have a woman in their life. They are selfish, really messed up or hiding something strange in themselves that they know if a woman found out she would not accept like being gay or a cross dresser. This guy is empty.

  10. Immature and all about himself. He might try a Muslim woman. Oh no that wouldn’t work she would wear a black garbage bag not Chanel. Who cares what brand of clothes a woman wears? He’s a pretentious phony.

  11. Some men just can’t commit. They don’t have the confidence to do so. They are weak men looking for someone or something else all the time. Some do marry but then cheat. They need something to fill them up or to fix them. The guy in the interview is one of them. she should be this and that. When you love a woman you love her. All the rest is unimportant.

  12. He hates women. He wants one to make him feel good about who he is. I have met men like this and I can see right through their excuses.

  13. A child boy. He doesn’t want a wife. He wants a mommy or a trophy or a trophy who babies him like his mommy and no real woman will and so he’s never been married.

  14. He goes from woman to woman trying to find excitement. He is very boring in his answers. My guess is he will never marry. Can he love, doubt it. Will die alone thinking he’s the perfect man. Creepola!

  15. Know a 42 year old living in his Mothers basement with his girlfriend and 14 year old daughter waiting for his mom to CROAK, so he can move upstairs, lived there 36 years out of 42 rent free, free cable TV, free internet, and I hear he has free government food card, drives a Cadillac LIVING THE AMERICAN DREAM….

  16. Know a 42 year old living in his Mothers basement with his girlfriend and 14 year old daughter waiting for his mom to CROAK, so he can move upstairs, lived there 36 years out of 42 rent free, free cable TV, free internet, and I hear he has free government food card, drives a Cadillac LIVING THE AMERICAN DREAM….Mom is the Enabler, but she can’t help her self, he is her baby BOY!

  17. Truly, a screwed up dude. Who does he think he is? If he was any good he’d be married. My guess is women see through his golddigging ways and dump him.

  18. of course, many men want a playboy girl….but most of them look like backwoods idiots, overweight, don’t shave, have strange ideas and want instant sex without any real relationship. And, of course, he wants her to pay for herself and frequently him, too!


  20. Great post Ayn…check out
    Sounds like my ex fiancé..he once said if you make that much money..why do I need to work? JERK!b

  21. this bloat is a golddigger. there is a breed of man out now that expects a woman to be have and to everything and they just take advantage. This bloat is this type. no money and he will give what he can which is code for nothing.

  22. I laugh each time I read this. I love it. It is so revealing. I just read it twice through today. This man is empty. His answers are like that of some dead head. He says what he thinks is pc and says nothing. He is afraid to answer with honesty which is he is afraid to commit and afraid of women and afraid of anyone seeing who and what he really is and that is a scared little boy. When women cheat on a man it’s often because he isn’t there for her emotionally. THis man isn’t there for himself emotionally. So no way could he be there for a woman. I bet he hangs out in places to meet women. Comes on to them. they date a few times, the women get bored and off they go. If he says he has long term leading to marriage relationships and has no photos of him with the women then he is lying. Every woman I know takes many photos of themselves with their boyfriends even ugly ones. This is a classic interview. Love ya Ayn keep up the good work.

  23. This interview is so funny. I love how you did it, outting him like you did. He is a phony. Is he gay ? Have you ever thought about that? I have known a gay man who dated lots of women to throw his friends and family off that he was gay. He dated them and put on that it was serious but never married. He is about his man’s age and reminds me of him.

  24. Even if you didn’t write the truth in the comments, it’s easy to see what kind of a man I mean boy he is. A mama’s boy looking for a the perfect woman to take care of him. Boy-Men like this make me want to throw up.

  25. Anyone who cannot see and comprehend (know) that Marriage is a covenental relationship with God cannot expect success in that Marriage. We make our vows to each other, and while in the presence of God, we also make our vows to Him. None of us are perfect, all of us have fallen short of his standards. It is unreasonable to expect perfection from each other when we cannot produce it ourselves; God’s grace humbles us in Marriage that we may strive to be perfect (as) our Father in Heaven IS perfect. “Happy Wife? Happy life”…Exactly the point.

    1. this man expects perfect while offering little to nothing clueless. does he believe in God doubt it. he doesn’t believe in love unless it’s in his image

  26. If a true man really loved you You would not have to ask him how he felt or how much he loved you it would be shown everyday.

  27. This guy appears to be looking for a servant, not a relationship in the usual way. He is too self centered. The narcissist. I was married to a woman who was very similar to this.

  28. Sociopath. They move from woman to woman and something it always wrong with the women. Does he take money from them? He takes expensive gifts from someone he doesn’t even care about. Sociopathic signs. Normal people don’t take gifts from someone they don’t care about.

  29. I have read this several times and laugh each time. It’s such a revealing interview. You rock, Ayn. I best he still isn’t married. He might marry after momma dies to have another momma poor girl.

  30. A friend sent me this article. I love it. I just dumped a man like the one in this interview. All vague crap. he led me on for a bit then I realized what a con and a liar and dumped him only to find out he was dating two other women and leading them on like he was me while dating me. Men like this are players. This interview man doesn’t want a player because he is the player. This site is great. I am glad I found it.

  31. There is no doubt that the following blog post is probably the finest I have found today. It’s also apparent the person who’s page this is put a whole lot of work into it. Great work!

  32. Too funny. the guy answers but doesn’t say anything,He’s a bull shitter. This site is too cool! i was sent over here from another site.

  33. Too funny! You nailed it. I have known men just like this one. All about himself and no reality about what a relationship is. The guy you interviewed I concur will never marry and if he does she will divorce him. Then you can write about that.

  34. This guy is too funny and dumb. The reason for marriage is love and that is the only reason. He never mentions that. He’s all about stuff. He must’ve read in a book somewhere about how to have a relationship. Is this for real? He’s too stupid. What a woman wears, what designer is lame. I know men that buy their wives clothes if he wants to see her in something. He offers nothing. He wants to get. He has no idea what love is or how to love. No wonder he’s never been married and he never will be.

  35. Gold digger. Typical playboy bullshit artist. His mommy f-ed him up something bad. He lives in her house and drives her car. Sick! He wants his mommy and no woman other then her will do. Was he incestuous with her. You need to ask him that.

  36. I laugh each time I read this. The man is delusional and all about himself, his image and hi protection of ego. He thinks he’s god’s gift to women, that is what is mother taught him and no woman wants him. The older these men get the more alone and pathetic they become. Women aren’t attracted at all and they really get pathetic and depressed. Like that pilot that we both know. Ayn. He was once a ladies man and now can’t get a date. LOL These men need to grow up while they have the chance.

  37. This guy will never marry. He talked about a woman like she was an object to suit his needs. He never mentioned love or what’s really important in a relationship. He’s all superficial. If he ever does marry, he will soon be divorced.

  38. This is a joke, gotta be. No man is this dumb. Couldn’t be! I laughed to hard. Ayn, tell me this man is a joke! THis is going around on another website and it’s getting lotsa laughs.

  39. No connection to his heart. All about image. I hate men like this. There are women like this too. He’s a fat and sloppy and expects a woman to be trim, fit and wear Chanel. Insecure, Ayn you know Donna at Lovefraud, right. I see your articles there. Love your site.

  40. Lol. too accurate. I have met men like this. They are crap. He said he had employment difficulties maybe that is why he lives in Mama’s house and drives her car. Sounds like a real snowflake. Can’t get out from under the wings of Mama.

    1. I thought that too that he can’t afford to leave his mother’s house. Then he wants a woman that wears Chanel. Gold digger!!!!! Trying to be a big shot when he lives in Mama’s house.

      1. Independent? If was independent he would have married and had a life with a woman somewhere in all those fifty years.

  41. It’s called failure to launch. Never made his own life and when parent dies moves into their house. He wants to remain a child. Sad man.

  42. A man or woman over say 45 and never married has something off with them. I won’t date a woman over 40 who has never been married. They all say shit like, at least I haven’t been divorced, at least I haven’t made a mistake.The are afraid to make a mistake so they never live. They are defensive about their inability to make a commitment. They have issues. this man you interview definitely has Big mother -f-in issues. I was married for 7 years and got a divorce. I don’t regret one minute of my marriage. It was the best thing that ever happened to me and i would love to have her back, since now I know what I did wrong or be married to someone again someday now that I am the more wiser.

  43. He’s all talk. He’s trying to justify why he has never committed to a woman. The reason he hasn’t married is because he can’t commit. His answers are crap. I read this interview a few years back and since have talked to some of my men friends who are similar to this man. Since then, both of them have married. They had been defense about getting married because they were afraid to get married. Both of them say now that they are married that they have never been happier. Some men take longer to grow up. The man you wrote about here will never marry . He’s in love with himself and his image. He’s gross. Thanks for letting me read it again. It’s on several sites. I guess you know that.

  44. Mothers can really f-up their sons and make them hate women or think a woman will be like her or he will have to answer to her. I feel for men like this one. He’s so screwed up he can’t think. He runs off at the mouth Blah blah bla

  45. I am a never married woman over 50 with no kids.
    However, I do not think I would ever date this man. I could never meet his “standards” (?) . He also sounds very detached and does not know what love really is.
    I have experienced love, but I have not been married – yet. I do want to get married, but have not met a man who is emotionally, physically and mentally compatible who actually wants to marry me. I am not rich or perfect. I have met a lot of men in my life and, truth be told, many of them are very much like this guy emotionally. Three married (wife supports them, they cheat on her), another one married a woman who bailed him out financially and supported the family at the start of the relationship, the rest never married except for one I met at age 19. He was a great boyfriend and I was just beginning to date seriously at that time (late bloomer). I don’t think marriage was really on my radar at that time. I was just starting college and he was getting ready to return to his hometown to run the family business.
    Several years later he married a secretary at the company.
    Just because a person is never married doesn’t mean they would not have done well at it. Some people truly have not met a suitable match. The guy in this article, however, seems like he has a brick wall built around him and never wants to let anyone in. I would certainly spot this guy a mile away and never go out with him.
    I feel I am an open book. Just not been expert at meeting and dating marriageable men. I am truly disappointed that I am never married at this point in my life. I have certainly been trying and open to it. Met the family and they met mine. It just had not been in the cards to this point.
    Thanks for the article. I think some of the men I meet have similar characteristics and it is inadvisable to date them. A guy who wants me to wear a Chanel suit can buy me one. I wear size 4. This is a very funny request. I had 2 boyfriends (both had plenty of money but were withholding or just plain cheap) who would look at beautifully dressed women in magazines and ask me why I was not wearing that type of clothing. By the way, these were blue jeans and t-shirt kind of guys. I explained to them that if they bought me the clothes I would happily wear them and was excited to know where they might take me in these clothes. The prospect of purchasing the clothes and/or taking me to a place where this type of dress would be required rendered them mute. The discussion just went off in another direction.
    I don’t need to wear Chanel or go to Le Cirque. Just want a upbeat and loving man who wants to share, love and care who wants to enjoy happiness together.

    1. Agree with you. If a man wants a woman to wear something that he likes, he needs to buy it for her. I agree the man in this interview has a wall around him and is cold and has no idea what love is.

  46. If he wants his woman to wear Chanel then he should buy it for her. I hate men like this one. They expect the woman to be perfect, wear designer clothes and be exactly what they want while they give nothing. The guy in the photo even looks fat and not attractive. Great interview and article. Ayn, your site reveals truth.

  47. He hates women. He considers them arm candy. He’s cold. He’s also ugly based on that photo. Ayn, you are beautiful.

  48. Informative article. I have met men like this. They are all the same. It’s what the women can do for them and nothing is good enough. Their mother made over them too much and some even were incested by their mother. They are sick in the head men. Not worth your time. My experience has been when I see that a man is worped by his mother I never am around him again. These women are cruel and nasty. Having a mother in law like that would be hell.

  49. Whatever it was that their mom did made them down deep hate women or they might think no woman will love them like she did. Whatever it is or was it’s sick and creates a man who doesn’t know how to love and only knows how to take. They look at a woman as either arm candy to have sex with until he gets tired of her or she should be his mother and take care of all his needs. I call this the black man syndrome. I work in the mental health field and many black men are like this. There are the women they have sex with then the women who take care of them. They don’t take care of the women or their children. It’s a low class mentally of families with no father or a father who was always gone and a mother who took control or was needy so the son took the father’s place. It’s creating weak ineffective feminine needy men. Like this one stating she should wear Chanel. A grown actualized man might say that he wants to buy her Chanel or nice things. This guy wants her to do for herself while he benefits. I see he’s not black but as I stated I am black and I work with blacks and this is the way many men are in that culture and why so many young blackmen are so messed up. They never learn what a man is and they want no responsibility. They are children for their whole life like this one in the article is. He tries to be certain and sure and is all about ego and image. A lot of hot air is all he is. Good article and interview. Every woman should read it.

  50. Men like this are often depressed and in bad health. They are loners and only date to put on a show that they are normal when they aren’t. Any man that thinks his woman should wear Chanel is an creep or he can buy it for her. This guy live in an altered universe of empty.

  51. He has no manly instincts to protect and to care for a woman. He’s childish, demanding and lacking the man gene. She has to be this way and he’s give what he can. What the f-k is that? A loser. No wonder he’s never been married far past middle age. He can’t handle living. He’s looking for a mommy.

    1. I agree. He’s not a man. He has no male traits as they relate to women. He looks at marriage as a business not love. Cold azz gold digger.

  52. This guy objectifies women. What they should wear is BS. That they put him first. He’s a control freak. I would say that if he got married or even was in a long term relationship that he would be abusive in many ways.

  53. Drives his mother’s car and lives in her house after she died. OMG! Never married! Ayn, if this guy is or was your friend can’t you talk to him and explain how freaky this is? You are so smart. Surely he will listen to you and at least get some help. Maybe there is a deep secret like he’s gay, his mother and he were lovers or something else that makes him so mixed up and have not made a life of his own. His talk about money, jobs is just a smoke screen. He dates women that he thinks aren’t acceptable because then he won’t have to commit. He will always have a reason not to or 100 reasons not to or he makes reasons up. He is playing games. Why does he even date? Does he like women, hate them or prefer men? He just sounds sick and very strange.

    1. Was he waiting for his mother to die? At mid fifties people have their lives, houses, cars, families. What was this guy doing just waiting for mom to die, so he could step in and take over her property. Norman Bates, MUCH!

  54. This guy is a pretentious lying loser. None of his answers say anything. He is closed off from life. A sad sack that thinks he has all the answers when he knows nothing.

  55. OMG! You might ask him if he can afford to buy Chanel for the this imaginary woman. I bet he can’t. Men like this are about their image. This guy is superficial. He doesn’t love. He pursues then exits or the woman does. I would guess it’s the women that see through his crap. Does he wear designer suits? Doesn’t appear that he does. Where would he wear them? To the movies and burger joints. He’s a superficial phony and this is why he’s never been married. None of his answers hold water.

  56. If he was independent, he would have married and had a family way before middle age. He’s dependent on his mother. He moves into her house and drives her car after she dies. That is morbid. In this interview he states he’s too independent to get married. He’s too dependent on mommy to make a life. He says he has had career and financial issues and doesn’t want to lay that on a woman and that is why he hasn’t married. Then in the next breath says he wants her to be able to go from a swimsuit to Chanel. He is an empty fool. A woman who wears Chanel will have money and he doesn’t have any. He is a golddigger but really he was gold digging his own mother. He’s perverted a sick in the head dude. Thanks for posting this. I was told about your site. It rocks!

    1. I agree. If he was independent he would have a wife, family and home of his own and not be living in his mothers. That’s plain rank.

  57. He’s afraid of being manipulated, controlled and losing his freedom which is probably what he saw in his parent’s marriage. His mother must have been a piece of work or his father weak and was controlled so he vowed this would never happen to him. Men like this lack confidence and are fearful of women even as they desire one. His answers are empty full of nothing. That he’s never made a home for himself and moves into his mother’s house after she dies shows he wants to remain a child. He probably comes on strong with women then backs off. He’s an immature player and at his age always will be. Men like this are a waste of air. They never grow up. This is an excellent dating tool for women and why it’s all over the internet. Great job, Ayn. Your whole site is amazing in clarity and information.

  58. I read this once and knew the kind of man this is. Then read it again and laughed and laughed. Not only is this clear truth but it’s so true it’s funny. This man’s answers are just rehearsed words that say nothing. The clearest thing I get from this is he wants a woman who can buy and do for herself. I would call him a gold digger like others who posted did. I have never heard a man say that he wants a woman to wear Chanel or any designer. Is he gay? Could be a latent gay? He claims that he wants a woman who is able to buy Chanel, looks good in a swimsuit and he gives what he can. Who does he think he’s fooling. I bet women run from him so fast. He lives in his mother’s house and drives her car. LOL So many women would be attracted to this dud. NOT! Can’t you see it now, he meets a woman and says I am driving my mothers car and I live in her house. LOL! any woman would RUN!

  59. FEAR! The man is full of fear. He has no confidence as a man. He can’t make his place in the world. He chooses to stay with momma. Men like he is make me want to puke. Always something wrong with the women. When everything is wrong with him. Loser! LOSER!!!!! Momma made a loser outta him! He sounds like a black guy. I think some others saw this too!

  60. Men like this one and Ayn and I know you know this.. your speech the other day was great by the way. Men like this one are fearful of being seen for who they are and their weaknesses. They avoid intimacy. Avoid commitment marriage or anything like it. They are flawed men. They are hiding parts of themselves. May have deep shame about something. They deep down don’t feel worthy of a woman and they aren’t worthy. They in the truest since are losers because they blame others when it’s them

  61. Your interview with this man is classic. He dances around and says nothing. Then he ends up living in his mother’s house after she dies. Like I said ‘classic’ Classic mama’s boy and narcissist. He wants everything and gives nothing or “What he can”
    Yeah women I am sure flock to this guy lol

  62. Men like this are weak. They are too weak and insecure to create a life separate from their family, I knew a man like this. He was nice and boring and no one could stand to be around him for long. He never married and would date women for short whiles then it would be over and no one would know why. When his father died he moved into his house and lived there alone. No one like to visit him. There was nothing to do. He was like a old old man before his time. I haven’t heard anything about him in years. He may have died. But he would talk like this man about women like he thought he was all that when really he was to insecure and empty to hold onto a woman for more then a few months.

    1. Agree, Roger. Men like this use women to make themselves feel better and when the newness wears off they go on to find another one. They are losers and take as much as they can. They don’t give. They don’t love. They are too weak to love.

  63. As a rule men who have not been married by middle age like by 45 are often screwed up men. Can’t commit, mentally ill, wild, gay, mother’s boys like this one or something else. They are players and have low self esteem and are looking for a woman to either hide behind or to make them feel better about who they are. That is why they go from one to another. When the women needs attention, he exits and makes something wrong with her to justify his immature stunted behavior. It’s all about him like this man in the interview. He has a wall around himself. He’s cold calculating and by his answers has no idea what love and marriage are about.

    1. Usually when parents die is when children grow up. This man is crawling back into his mother’s womb. I wonder what this woman did or didn’t do to him? Were they lovers and he can’t stand to leave her side? What was it? Be interesting to know.

  64. Ayn, you didn’t date this guy did you? What a empty vessel. I agree with others. He wants her to wear Chanel but he has financial and job issues. He lives at his mother’s house after she dies. The whole interview and his answers are creepy. The guy is creepy. A very strange man.

  65. He’s too scared to gt married. All his answers are empty excuse. His statement about her wearing a bathing suit to Chanel is superficial crap. He wants arm candy and what is he but a momma’s boy. He now lives in her house and drives her car. How empty is this ‘man’?

  66. A guy that gives answers like this one did in his forties is one of those who never grow. What’s it called the Peter Pan syndrome. Forever stays a little boy looking for a mother. I have hired with men like this though the years and they don’t make good employees. I have fired them. They are usually lazy. Men without a wife and family at 40 is no man but a boy. He’s all about himself and doesn’t shoulder responsibility well. Actually avoids it all his life. He wants the perks without the commitment and reality. Not men but BOYS!

  67. He’s so dependent that he moved into his mother’s house after she died. OMG! What a loser! He wants to be taken care of all his life like a child. He doesn’t want and will not grow up. He is missing what it takes to become a man.

  68. I started laughing with his first answer. Who is he kidding? Not me! He is an immature child. He lives in his mother’s house, drives her car and wants his girl to wear Chanel and buy it herself. He’s a creep with a capital C!

  69. I laughed laughed. Then knowing you, thought I bet you were about to choke with his answers or choke him. He’s a thoughtless self serving idiot. No woman would want to be with him. A big nothing! Empty! Too pathetic!

  70. Ayn, this is classic. This man is all about his image and nothing about the woman that he hopes to marry. Marry? Doubt it! Just from his answers I would say he is a narcissist with borderline and avoidant personality. He tells you what and who he is by what he doesn’t say along with what he does say. He has no intention of loving and caring for anyone but himself. He is all and only about him. You have done a real service to have posted this. I tripped across this on another site. I am using it in my practice. I will contact you privately.

    1. I would like to use this in my practice. I am looking forward to your book. You have great insights. Will contact you.

  71. Ladies, I will share that men such as the one interviewed have sociopathic tendencies. Thee pursue romantically a Woman , sex may be great at first. Then he backs away and finds fault. Everything about her is wrong. Many have trouble sustaining an erection, after the thrill of pursuit they lose interest in sex. they may become good at foreplay but can’t sustain actual intercourse. They are child men, can’t love, can’t commit and are always searching for the love they felt from their mother. Run from a man like this. He is disordered and will never change. He will blame you for everything just like a child. Men such as this will not look at their behaviors.

  72. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This guy cleaves to his mother. It’s a distortion of life then I reckon he has sex with women that he has no intention of marrying that is sinful.

  73. Narcissist, everything is about him. He has financial problems. He is independent and doesn’t need a woman except if he has one she will wear Chanel and look good in a swimsuit. He’s empty. Then mommy dies and he lives in her house and drives her car. He’s completely dependent on the approval of Mommy. A really emotionally sick man. Thank you for posting this.

    1. Promiscuity, short-term relationship jumping and too many failed relationships are another. Makes you ponder what is wrong with him, but it’s something the previous ladies have encountered and headed for dodge. Obviously a user and abuser best avoided.

  74. He’s a low value, low esteem man looking for a high value woman. He dates women unacceptable in some way so he won’t have to give or commitment. If he finds a high value woman he won’t feel good enough for her and will sabotage it in some way or she will leave him when she sees his true self which is an insecure, mommy’s boy who can’t become a man because he is too insecure to take on commitment and responsibility.

  75. He’s the problem not the women. He’s a gold digger Big loser. Lives in his mother’s house and drives her car and he’s over 50 ! LOL that is a momma’s boy spelled with a capitol M! I will bet you that men don’t respect this loser boy!

  76. Dang! What a dead tool. No clue about women, life, marriage and lives in his mom’s house and drives her car! Can anyone say ISSUES!

  77. too stupid! what is he thinking? he isn’t. he is all about him and no one else. he will never be married and if by luck some women will have him. she will get ride of him.

  78. A selfish little boy. He’s not a man. Never once did he bring up taking care of her and protecting her. It is all about him and what she ‘should’ be. He looks fat in that pic, not attractive at all. Ayn you look adorable as usual. Men like this one suck off everyone in their life to make them feel better about who they are which is not much. He needs arm candy and he gives them nothing, I bet. So they leave him. Never married and never will be.

  79. This is a classic piece. The man who talks and says nothing. I am certain this is what he is like with all the women he dates. He pursues finds fault then exits and the women have all the issues according to him. I have a brother like this. He’s an emotional mess. Women can’t stand him for long. He thinks he’s all that but he isn’t. He will not look at what he does to create the bad outcomes. He thinks women are the issue when it is him. I am going to send this to him to see if he recognizes himself in it. I love this site. Ayn, you write so well about very important topics.

  80. Really not really? This guy is a nut job. Your face tells it all. Looks like you are amused by is immature clueless answers. He didn’t say anything.

  81. oh boy! I have talked to men like this before. All talk and nothing more. they are users. as soon as anything gets real they run. he’s full of himself.

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