Playboys, Never Married Men and Committment...
A playboy is a philanderer who devotes himself to a life of "play". The term typically refers to a man who has numerous brief sexual relations with women... some have serial 'marriage-like-play-like' encounters that never result in a real commitment.
Some people 'think' the term 'playboy' is glamorous and some men even 'think' it's a compliment to be called a 'playboy'... I think it's one of the lowest things that a man can be. A playboy is a man that is still a 'boy'... he 'plays' at being a man. He 'plays' house and 'plays' at manly things... What could be more unattractive in a man?...
George Clooney is a fairly physically attractive man, but his 'playboy ways' and as he ages, in my opinion, makes him unattractive, almost silly, as he goes from woman to woman.
What makes a man attractive is maturity, responsibility and the ability to have an enduring lasting relationship with the ability to care and really love. A man who is in touch with his emotions in honesty is sexy... not a man that walks around trying to see how many women he can have sex with... this kind of a man is a joke unto himself and a blight to woman-kind.
A playboy is attracted just as far as the conquest goes, when he feels that he succeeds, or even partially succeeds, he becomes less attracted. This behavior is nothing, but empty, immature and can even become 'cocky'. And this is not attractive, sexy, glamorous, or manly. It's weak and childlike, grabbing for one toy, after getting it, tiring of it, then reaching for another.
Men, I have met, and gone out with, who are over forty and have 'never been married', usually are very lacking. They can't see it in themselves, but they are self-centered, even arrogant (a coverup for their innate insecurity) and I find them emotionally immature on many levels. Truth be known, many have sexual issues, even if they have had many sexual partners. Having a need for many sexual partners is a sign of immaturity and an emotional lack. A person who has had, or can have emotionally satisfying sex, doesn't desire random meaningless sex, unless, they are emotionally stunted and trying to cover-up deep seated issues.
'Playboys', or 'the never married male' often state that they just haven't met the 'right' woman, but to me it appears more like they aren't the 'right' man. They aren't 'right' with themselves or who they are inside.
When they observe their friends getting divorced, they are 'proud' that they haven't had to endure this. Yeah right! They haven't experienced, or endured much of anything where 'real commitment' is concerned. They are so afraid of divorce that they never marry. They are so fearful that they are afraid of losing what they never have had, or experienced. How pathetic is that?
The real deal with the 'never married man', forty and up, is that they can't commit, are afraid of failure and real intimacy. So, they objectify women and diminish marriage and commitment to make themselves feel better about their inability to commit, to choose, and to make long term relationship decisions.
They need that 'easy' satisfaction, that 'rush' of something new, an escape, a change and they may not really like women, may even fear women, and certainly have a fear of knowing themselves in relation to a female. That's why they pull away when it begins to get 'real'.
So, quick seduction, or even slow seduction with all the words that 'play' like love with some 'play-like' actions and they may even enjoy 'playing house for awhile', of course, without the 'unnecessary (very necessary) commitment'. They always side step, or exit, then blame the woman as 'she just wasn't the right' one', as their MO.
It's much easier to pursue and run away when it gets to real or close, than to really commit and get to know themselves in relation to another. In a committed relationship, is when, and only how you get to know yourself. It's called 'relationship... in relationship with another. Playboys and the never married, usually don't have much of a relationship with themselves.
Commitment is when love really begins then grows. Marriage is a beginning, not an ending. Without commitment, love definitely will fade, with commitment, there is the opportunity for love to grow deeper.
It's the endurance of commitment that allows for the possibility of true love and growth in both the man and the woman.
Many men these days are so immature and emotionally disconnected, unattractive and unavailable that the possibility of real love will always evade them.
They want the sex and fun, but with none of the responsibility or commitment...
so it's superficial, empty and soon becomes meaningless...
I know a man who is almost 50 and never married. He 'thinks', he knows about relationships, even marriage, when he is clueless. Knowing him as long as I have, this makes me laugh, as he's delusional. He doesn't love. He gets 'enamored' for a bit then shuts down, or exits. He states that women cheat on him and I understand why because he is never really connected or emotionally available. He has aged dramatically over the years, is overweight, his body and face appear unloved and unlovable and everything about him is less attractive, even the way that he walks and moves, but he still has that internal 'playboy' facade of 'I am so desirable'... and that he is 'holding out his committment and marriage for the one.' It is really sad, he has lost it, if he ever even had it, and he can't see it, or who he is, or how he really comes across... he has little to nothing to offer a woman because he has nothing to give.
So, I wondered, does he think that at 55 or 60, 'Ms. Perfect' is going to appear and want him so badly that she will put up with his immature antics and BS that only a mother would, or could deal with? Doubt it! (Is that what these 'playboys' think is going to happen?) I told him 10 years ago that he will never marry, and as of yet he hasn't and I bet, he never will.
Men with deep seated insecurities are too fearful to be really and deeply intimate with a woman. While at the same time, they are very needy even desperate for feminine energy. Immediate and momentary sexual closeness temporarily satisfies this need and their appetite as they think of their self and their needs and not what they are doing to the woman in emotional harm. They can suck a woman dry then run off to suck the energy from another. The real loser types have several women going at once. They are so fearful of being left without a woman to suck energy from that they keep many on the string.
They put their innate insecurity onto the women in their lives.... and no woman can handle it for long, they wear her down, and the woman that can, they don't want. Because she sees through him and forces him to look at himself.
The man that I spoke of previously, I can barely spend a lunch with any longer... he is so needy and depressing. But he can't say... 'I am unhappy, I need this, or that, I feel lost.' No, he will say that he is happy and fine. That he is so together, when everything about him appears lost. He is usually deeply depressed. He has no ability to see himself and not only that, he is after a woman with money. He wants to be taken care of... so from 'playboy' to 'gigolo'...he, now, complains when he spends money on a woman... GEEZ! Loser much! Like any woman would want him.
Nothing is more pathetic than an aging playboy! Insecurity reeks from every pore. Playboys are superficial, weak and needy. And the older ones that drive around in their flashy cars trying to appear so 'with it' are so not...
Men who can commit, have emotional depth and want to be held accountable to the woman that they love. They aren't fearful of being known for who they are and the experience of growing in love. They want to care for their woman and make her feel safe and nurtured as a mature and emotionally healthy male does. They want to give and provide ... that is what a man is and does, that is the true nature of the male.. a real man in relation to a female.
Nothing is more attractive than a man who can love deeply and having experienced marriage, this kind of man, wants to experience it again, because he knows that this is a remarkable way to interact and to live, to have a witness to your life of who you are and who you become while living and sharing it together.
It takes a secure man to commit. It's the weak ones that can't and who focus on sex and are 'playboys'...The male/female connection is bliss at it's finest ....
but with a 'playboy' it's empty, as they are empty vessels... looking to be filled up, instead of filling up another...
How do I know this? My first husband was a 'playboy'. Yes, some do marry, but they continue their 'playboy' ways while married (as in Arnold, Edwards, Wiener, to name a few). My ex was an emotional phony and terrible in bed. I was the wife he wanted for his 'image'. I am a 'playboy' magnet. I have observed and studied them for years. I can now spot them at a glance. They are the needy penises that I refer to and that is exactly what they are...they are everywhere and the Internet is a playground for them...
Of course, I have had relationships with men who were and are not 'playboys'... there are good men.. so don't you guys get all in a huff. Only these days... Wow! From what I observe and what other women tell me, they are few and far between...
(Okay, I am talking about men, but I know there are 'playgirls' and the same applies to them.)
Categories: Relationships, Men
Tags: playboy philanderer sexual relations unmarried relationships. needy objectify
Ann, I love reading your thoughts and advice. You are so right on and so real and so true and tell it like it really really is. Thank you! Thank you!
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Ann you are quite feminine and intriguing.
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Wow great photo of you Ann.
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Ann, a combination of truth, good sense, and breathtaking beauty...
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Very interesting and sexy woman you are Ann!
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Very good Ann!!! I don't understand those who say "I Love You" and cheat on their mates! Love would never do that!!! And love does commit.
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Without committment love will die.. the committment is what allows for and prompts growth of the individuals separately and together.. to love is a committment and responsiblity..
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Excellent insight and I agree. I have experinced it often and they are all the same.
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Excellent insight. I have experinced it often and they are all the same.
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I have seen this repeatedly too Ann. Serial daters and they are all the same. Try to get a woman into bed fast and they all use the same lines and have the same desperate look on their faces. Great article.
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I have seen this repeatedly too Ann. Serial daters and they are all the same. Try to get a woman into bed fast and they all use the same lines and have the same desperate look on their faces. Great article.
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Ann very insightful and real. I have found old men that have never married are very strange creatures a bit like old women. I also think that if they get past a certian age that they will not ever marry. It's like they are missing the partner gene. I have a brother like that. He's not gay just emotional dead like you wrote of. Enjoy your work.
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Another dead on the money article from Ann. You rock! I would love to be able to sit down and spend hours talking to you. Love your site!
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Very true well done. Playboys are jerks.
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Excellent! I have met several of these men and they are like stupid little boys. I hung around one way to long and he wore me out with his roller coaster ride. I am sharing this one.
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"he wore me out with his roller coaster ride" next time don't put your pants down
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Bill, I don't think that is how he wore her out. Men like this are an emotional roller coaster.. they have approach/avoidance issues.. so they get close then pull away..and for an emotionally healthy person this feels uncomfortable. But yes, it's wise not to have sex with men like this.. to stand back and observe any man before getting that close. Many show who and what they are about early on. And a man in his forties and above who had never been married... really listen to what he says as his reasoning.. it will tell you want he will be saying about you.. after it's over and you get close then he pulls away... people's behavior by that age is set in.
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Good stuff.. As an aging male who had a marriage that lasted 44 years and has had almost 4 years of being single as a widower, I can identify with both sides of your equation.. Yes, I proved I could keep a commitment and am not looking for medals or kudos, was her primary caretaker for the last few painful months of her life.. Just a part of the "deal" that we make in a marriage... Now, from a male perspective and after dating around awhile, I must say there are more than a few playgirls out there and some are dangerous predators, I might add. The great news is that I have now found the and love of my life and she is much too young, beautiful and smart for me but, loves me intensely, anyway.. My message to both genders is don't give in or give up as there is someone neat for you out there.. Enjoy the process, too.
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Dating can be a mindfield. You just need to be armed with what to look for as red flags. There are great people and you need to hold out for the one that is right for you and not settle for crumbs.. and playboys and playgirls offer crumbs.
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Interesting article Ann I must say. These men are serial daters and are not going to turn their playa card in for just any woman. Women need to deal with men that are hell bent on dealing with them & Lord willing lead to marriage.
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Yes, deal with these kinds of men and do not get close but hold at arms length and observe. People get into sex too quickly these days and it's a recipe for disaster on both parts. It's gives playboys and girls a field to play in and hurts those looking for a real connection or committment.
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Hard for me to respond to that one Ann. I was married for a lifetime and widowed. I am now with someone for almost 10 years. Never knew anyone that was a "Play-Boy" But George Clooney fits the bill. I guess you get to a point when you say, why get married, this is working. To many marriages fail today. George was married once. Not many marriages in Hollywood work. Goldie Hawne (spelling) seems to have it all without it. They act truly committed.I have a friend that was married for 25 years and found out her husband cheated the whole time. They divorced and she has found a winner. Married 10 years. So, its hard for me to relate to that article. But a good article. Marriage is over rated. Being married doesn't mean you'll never cheat.
I never cheated and in my heart I don't think Sam ever cheated. My oldest brother married at 18, wife was 18 and been married a life time, she has Alzheimers and he is by her side always they are both 86. A true Love story. I wish for everyone...a True Love Story.
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Elizabeth in order to have a true love story, you need to be able and have the ability to love. It's risking being vulnerable emotionally and really caring deeply for another. And playboys are too fearful to feel this deeply. They are emotional frauds to themselves and to others.
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You are 100% right on that responce Ann. I guess there are people incapable of loving another person. I'm glad i'm not one of them. You do open yourself up and once you've been hurt, its hard to trust again.
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So true and I, also, was involved for 2 years with such a person. 55 years of age at the time and never married. Even while living together, he continued his escapades online with other women. He even kept a widow woman on the back burner so he would have a place to go if things didn't work out between us. Even worse, he bragged about the 181 women he slept with and the women he didn't love but stayed with them cause they gave him money to gamble or bought expensive gifts for him. He said one woman was so fat, he couldn't stand to look at her body...so he thought about her money and it made it easy to do his "duty" So would that classify him as a gigilo too?
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Men like this are very insecure and have a weak inner core. They are not connected to the strength and love of the heart. They only think about what they can 'get' not what they can 'give' and if they do 'give' it is just to 'get'.. they have no clue what love is.. they are souless... and loveless. And yes, this guy sounds like gigolo. Many men like this keep their exes around in case they need them in a lull. Shirley the man you write about sounds like a sociopath.
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Fascinating... thanks. I've seen so very much of what you have written there! I could do a psychological case study on one subject I currently know and your blog fit exactly!
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great legs Ann
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Three cheers for romance and commitment. And..... what Bill said.
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Very good article and very true. Men like this as they age don't get better they get worse even more immature. When I was single I went to a bar restaurant with a girlfriend where men like this congregated.It was like a snake pit. We were new prey and we had them hanging all over us. They were old, over weight and drinkng and bragging and trying to nail a woman. One guy was fifty something and never married and he tried to act interesting but he was a creep and like you said Ann was desperate. Men like that don't get it. Women see through them. Some women might hang around one if she is immoral and looking for money. But those guys are disgusting. I like your work very much. You write truth.
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Yes Ann playboys are unattractive and yes are needy. They think that they are desirable and they aren't. They do wear a woman out if she tries to get him to connect or commit. Many are arrogant and the psychology of it tells us that this arrogance is a sign of insecurity. The older men like this are nasty and act more stupdid as they age. Get a clue guys settle with a woman who loves you when you are young and desirable and make her happy then you will be happy. Because an old fat man is that tries to be romantic then dumps the women when she wants it to be real is a stupid loser man.
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Nope. I've never experienced a Playboy. lol Then again i love women. BTW nice legs Ann. lol
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Couldn't resist. My bad. lol
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Typical male... and compliments are nice...
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Perfectly put .........
"A playboy is attracted just as far as the conquest goes, when he feels that he succeeds, or even partially succeeds, he becomes less attracted. This behavior is nothing, but empty, immature and can even become 'cocky'. And this is not attractive, sexy, glamorous, or manly. It's weak and childlike, grabbing for one toy, after getting it, tiring of it, then reaching for another."
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I fell in love with my wife because she is a strong woman. I love the fact that you are pushing the ideas and standards that you do..
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I'm with you on this one!
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Pretty accurate, that. I think on a gut level most women (hopefully...?) already "get" this. What I find sad is the Darwinian hardwiring that causes so many ladies to seek out violent, agressive, "bad boys." Jane Goodall suggests chimp males get their mates by being "toughest, slyest, strongest, baaaadest," and I suspect many ladies go for this in spite of "better judgement." How many know WHY they are attracted to who they're attracted to?
Glad you're doing this... I think you're spectacular.
and yes, I've been married 3x, 2 divorces and one special lady who died...
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Yeah, and then they're all upset because he's ... well, BAD!
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Women want a strong vital man and some mistake the 'bad' boy as this when he isn't..
Some men go after easy whores because it's exciting then are surprise when she cheats on him..
What it is is knowing yourself.. enough to see through to the reality of what a person is.. but sure we can all be fooled... it a process of learning about the other person...
It's about knowing yourself.. and not going for what's shiny but what is real.
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Ann, you are so on it. Playboys and men who can't committ will always leave a women empty and lacking. They have nothing to give and only take as you so well put it. As they age they may settle for someone then will cheat on her or never really make you feel loved. They can't playboys can't love. THey can create romance to acheive their goal of seduction but that is as far as it goes.
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and he inspires ladies to "play," because they know when they're bored, he will be too...
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Yes Peter .. very good point.. he romances and creates a temporary energy of fun.. that a woman glows into or he attaches to her glow and rides it until she gets tired.. good point...
she has to keep it going on some level because he is built on nothing.. whenn she tires.. and get bored with the games and it becomes real ... he exits either in energy or physicality or both.
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In political speak just like Obama all foreplay with no follow through.
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a Godly man will have great sex but only with his mate.if a women would go to church and meet a good man you would't be having these problems.
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Why is it at certain times in our life, when we would REALLY like to settle down, all we attract are these empty hearted, self loving egomaniacs? I could tell enough stories to write a series of novels. When a REAL guy comes along he is so appreciated. LOL! Party guys! I guess they serve their purpose: always an easy date if you need a male tag along. Lol! Happy those days are long gone.
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I look at guys like this as passing time...
you can't take them seriously they are too junvenile. But when I was younger as with my first husband..I was devastated... but now.. they are actually humourous.. as I write about them.. and share with my readers... I want women to be able to protect themselves and to see... before they believe these frauds...
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20+ years ago... shaking my head ... and I hope I never have to go through all of that dating again. Rich boys, poor boys, good boys, bad boys, professional athletes and business executives! It doesn't even sound like fun. That is all that kind of guy is good for, Ann... they don't even make a decent friend... just shallow acquaintences.
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I so agree... as this man that I wrote of .. he used to be an entertaining date.. someone to pass time with.. between a real man.. now, as he has aged he's become pathetic. These guys get worse when they age... become whiny while they try to act like they are so together.
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Great article accurate like all of yours are. I feel like I know the man you wrote about. I have a friend like him. He thinks he's this catch. When he was younger he blew women off and now he is old and fat and women aren't interested. Hs is a sad sack. He thinks he's still this catch and he is a slob.
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I think some women want the challenge of "pinning him down," and others are attracted to the bad boy, or to the chance to "be rich." But it is not love. Very few ever find real love.
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Playboy types haven't a clue what love is.. they think it's about them feeling good about themselves. It's all about them and what they 'get'.
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"Lovers" divide into "takers, givers, and sharers." Sharing is the best but it takes 2 sharers; and that's rare. But it is the most sustainable...
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Excellent read and true!
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I know, I was one of those... what you write is true.
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That was when I was young... I have grown past it thank God.
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Whoa, you're so full of life! Love the site!
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Most these guys have herpes. lol
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Playgirls too
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I thought they were just narciisists.
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Robert..yes.. many are narcissitic.. only care about themselves.. and take what they can get without regard to what another is feeling..It's only about them and their needs.. hey baby I love you.. until you love me back and have some needs or requirements that require me to commit and be responsiblie.. Many are just looking for the next best deal and can't love..don't even have a clue what it is..
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Some men aren't afraid and repeatedly get their hearts ripped out. I'd say a lot of Women have issues, too.
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Yes.. okay.. why can't it ever be that something is written about men.. that someone can't point out that women are like this also? I readily admitted that there are women like this in the article..
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Just pointing out that those of us Good Men that are headed in this direction were most often pushed that way. Just my humble observation.
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Sure there are women like this also .. but more men than woman.. and Mike I don't understand what you wrote in your last post.. are you saying that a good man can be pushed to be a playboy because of women.. if so ... BS..
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Not necessarily a Playboy. But the title was inferring Playboys, Never married Men, and Commitment shy men. Not just Playboys.
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They are all the same .. have similar issues that they don't address and yes, there are women like this also...
What their main issue is .. is FEAR of real imtimacy...
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To put it succinctly, Yup.
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A afraid of responsiblity.. to another and personal growth.. men who are say 45 and never married are like emotionally vapid.. or childlike.. terrible to interact with.. but many 'think' that they are so together and some like they are this 'great catch'.. LOL.. when they are emotionally stunted...
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Ann ur right again. I guess some men think it's cool to be call a Playboy, any body can sleep with a lot of women not cool just pathetic. But to be in a good relationship with just one women wow ur on top of the world !!!
Oh one more thing Ann great legs!!!!
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Thank u for the great article. I would love to talk to u 1 on 1 over a drink about our view.
Concerning the legs I only tell the truth. To0 bad I don't live in TX. Love to have a drink with u. Take care & enjoy that hot weather.
Anthony
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I Prefer to be a BoyToy LOL!
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OK great legs in a nice way.
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Ann is that you in that picture? You have very pretty legs.
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Nice men and playboys like the pretty things in life. but it's always the ladies who seal the deal.
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Men like that are emotionally stunted.. it really isn't funny.. it's pathetic.. they objectify women.. women are more than their appearance..
And sure we all like pretty things and people.
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It takes two souls to give 100% to make love work.
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Bob Ann, I really enjoyed your blog.
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Agree David and thank you Bob...
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Ann, I don't know why some men can't fall in love, but this man can.
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Ask them to define love. Will be like asking a liberal where jobs come from...
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Clooney's ugliness comes from inside. He is dumber than a bowl of stupid.
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Yep, george is not the sexiest man alive anymore.
He may be dumb! LOL Maybe most stars are dumb! But narcissistic is what comes to my mind. He'll never end up old and alone, tho, since he has money. When he's too old to tango, he'll find himself a sweet young 'thang. Money talks.
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I think George is losing it because he goes from woman to woman.. and the woman are all giddy and talk about how romantic he is then he dumps them.
He's a shallow loser that is afraid to commit.
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NOT TO MENTION, HE'S A BRAIN DEAD LIBERAL!
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Is he? Didn't realize that... no wonder.. he can't commit.. he has no character..
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Has anyone considered the simple and real possibility that marriage is over-rated?
Modern American marriages usually last about 7 years, and then end in mostly nasty divorce proceedings.
Perhaps the men who have seen what other men and women go through have made a simple cost/benefit analysis and decided that the risk is simply too great ... ESPECIALLY when women are so "easy" during these times too.
Full disclosure --> I'm 54 years old. I was a software engineer who was frugal with my money and retired at 47 years old. I was married for seven years of my life (25 to 32 years old at the time) and have two great children whom I adore to show for it.
(This was the very best, and only lasting thing from my marriage, and knowing all that I know now, I would still have married Pam to get Michael and Rachael! They were worth every suffering moment I had to endure.)
I think this article is good about the Playboys and the Gangsta 'playahs, but I think it goes off the rails when discussing men who are over 50, risk-adverse, and have SEEN with their own eyes how dangerous American Marriage has become.
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Bill, your comments are one of a man who doesn't know himself enough to truly love. You are bitter and full of it...
Your comment about women being 'easy' ... disgusts me.. sure many are.. but what you are saying is that if you can have sex why marry or make a deep commitment. Unfortunately, until you can see who you really are, you won't have real love or be able to love... thanks for your comments.. and good luck...
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I'm not bitter at all, and you know that I'm correct in my expression of many women being too "easy."
It's so obvious that anyone saying it isn't so is being disingenuous to the truth. (But I suppose that, like many general observations, it depends on where you live.)
As far as it disgusting you, I don't care, for it's the truth and it is a major disincentive for many men to marry.
As far wishing me, "good luck," I don't need luck. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
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I loathe making typos. "Far" should have been "for."
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I said that some women are 'easy' ... but not all... Easy? Just think of that expression...terrible..
I have high morals and standards and I think love and sex go together...
Many these days don't..
But I wouldn not want to be with an 'easy' man...
And not accepting someone wishing you luck.. well, that is sad...
Be happy thinking that you are 'right' and know it all...
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Look, you're demonstrating my point right there with your own words!
You wouldn't want to be with an 'easy' man.
Isn't that just what I was asserting -- an especially good reason so many men DON'T marry? (Easy women!)
I think I see where you tripped up, and it's a reasonable mistake.
You were ASSUMING that I had that playboy attitude. No, the only woman I had sex with in all my 54 years was my wife.
Furthermore, you have no idea of what I went through during divorce, otherwise you wouldn't have written your comment about bitterness.
Would you call a woman "bitter" if she was battered by her husband and then complained about all that she suffered was worth it just because of the two children she loved?
Why isn't the reverse case true only replace "battered by her husband" with "cheated on numerous times by his wife?"
I assure you, I know a lot more about my situation than you, a stranger on the Internet does.
Also, my point still stands ... many men are watching and observing how marriage and divorce are playing out in America today, and wisely "opting out" because they have seen that the cost is already too high, and only getting higher.
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Things aren't always what they seem to be...
The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.
GOV’T AGENT: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.”
RANCHER: ”Well, there’s my hired hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there’s the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.”
GOV’T AGENT: “That’s the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.”
RANCHER: “That would be me.”
~Bob Kingsford~
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I agree with a lot of your political thoughts, but believe that this article is a bit too general. I was married for a split second in 1980, then didn't remarry until 2006. There was a reason for this. I knew who I was in love with, but she was unavailable. I wouldn't settle for anyone less. I waited 32 years to marry my best friend. I lost her six months later, to a drunk driver. I am now in my mid 50's, with no intention of ever marrying again. If you had ever met me, without knowing this background, you would definitely lump me into this 'playboy' category. My point is that it is only in your opinion that men who choose to be single are emotionally damaged boys...All people, men and women included, are all individuals and all have their own stories as to how they have chosen to go through life. I would appreciate it if you would not denigrate all single men, just because you have issues with your ex-husband...hope this comment doesn't make you explode......Ray
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I didn't write this because I have issues with an ex.. what a lame comment.. it's after years of living and research.. and you have been hurt and are closing off your heart.. which is your choice and certianly we all have our stories .. but generally this article is accurate.. and in an article it is generalities that you speak of.. and the men the most angry and defensive about it .. fit into it the most...I am sorry for your loss..
you have closed down your hope for love..or you choose to love her..it's your choice..
Many men have trouble processing emotiions and shut down.. women are who do much of the emotional processing for a man...
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All men are afraid of women. It's just the way it is...
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...not a man that walks around trying to see how many women he can have sex with... this kind of a man is a joke unto himself and a blight to woman-kind.
You are so right! George Clooney is a great example.
If you asked me who I think is sexy - Johnny Depp. He has stood by the mother of his children for years and year, and even though they only recently married, there have never been any rumours of philandering that I'm aware of..and he is very vocal of his admiration and deep committment to his wife Vanessa Paradis. That to me is sexy!
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Clooney is gay and has always been gay. I knew his dad and he told me!
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It seems many 'playboy' and non-commital types are gay or have latent homosexuality.. they may not even really know it.. but most 'playboys' and those who never commit really hate women not love them.. now sure there is the occasional one who is a sex addict .... men who really love commit .. they want it.. men who can't love run from it..and hold a woman at arms length...
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Some will gladly and quickly find a spouse if that person can fit their needs and not fight it. If they can shape and manipulate their thoughts feelings and actions, many times are keepers for them.
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Nick Clooney had a pretty high profile back in the day. He also used to drink quite a lot. He was a womanizer and always liked to have a pretty young thing on his arm. Seemed to prefer long haired brunettes. He was very critical of Georgie boy...called him a puff many times.
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That can be true also Anita.. some gays.. want the facade of a marriage, or to prove to themselves that they aren't...
Cherry.. might he, Clooney's dad, have just been saying that because he was disppointed in him or something.. or maybe, he was abusive?
But I sense something off with Clooney.... too many women one right after another.. stupid.. people's feelings, if true don't change that quickly and he always promotes the girls as being so beautiful... like the Elizbetta... yuck.. dumb and not so attractive actually.. they may just want to be around Clooney... the star thing..who knows?
But men who hate women toy with them... and it goes nowhere... and never does... there is always something not 'right' about the woman.. when it is the man...
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I think Nick was always jealous of George's success. Nick abusive? Perhaps in a passive aggressive way. Daddy loved the limelight and loved to entertain his *friends*...he got dark when he drank...one of the no no things was to ask about his son...then he would make comments that would raise eyebrows and cause folks to shake their heads... I know that the two of them have done several projects together...one was a film about the middle east...but...money makes strange relationships... However...I personally heard him state that George would make him a g-dad if he could do it without having to personally *do the deed* to get someone pregnant...
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Whoa!... so you think these stars and models who date him don't have sex with him? But act like they are in a normal relationship.. just to be around him.. and he buys them things.. etc? Or was his Dad a jerk and really jealous so said nasty things...?
Either way.. could be the reason.. George can't commit... although he was married years ago for a short while...
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one can become addicted to the game...
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Yes.. true.. exactly.. and it is a game of avoiding self and pursuing others...
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Don Henley wrote on this a # years ago, that many men love sex but do not LIKE the company of women...
He's right. How many men are scorers -- like Rod Stewart in "Stay with Me," they want the action, but will kick you out in the morning??
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Some men who exhibit sexual promiscuity are actually sociopaths. The ruin women's lives. And for those who mentioned homosexuality, sociopaths do not differentiate between the sexes.
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This was awesome!!! You are telling like it really is. You have been putting out some articles as always!!!
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Sounds like an article written by a bitter divorcee. Wait a minute, you seek truth not facts. You ARE a divorcee! Too bad you make so many incorrect assumptions - namely that all men over 40 are evil - that you cannot or will not see the truth that every individual is different. Putting down millions of men for the same thing in this case is not truthful, nor factual, nor intellectually honest. In fact, the article reeks of Misandry. "sucking energy from women" and "needy penises" are opinion statements, not factual ones. I'm afraid your drivel besmirches your self-proclaimed "many wonderful qualities" (I take it humility isn't one of them) and in fact runs contrary to all your own claims. The TRUTH is men generally find women like you unattractive for that very reason, although I see you have your own following of eunuchs.
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Rudy, wow! You are the one that appears to have deep seated anger for this article to have triggered you so much. Wow! I am sad for you.
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"My ex was an emotional phony and terrible in bed. I was the wife he wanted for his 'image'. I am a 'playboy' magnet."
Any psychologist worth their salt would see this in the context of the rest of the blog and see the deep-seated hatred you have for men because of the fact you feel slighted, and in your particular case probably for good reason. However, it also clearly brings sunlight on the rest of your statements at the same time. First, you proclaim to "know so many things about men" but your first marriage failed. Obviously then, you don't know as much as you think or you wouldn't have married him in the first place...yet...those men who are SMART enough not to get married to the wrong person (something you throw off as being 'afraid of commitment' on our part) somehow makes us worse people than you? Your inability to wisely choose your own mate and your subsequent anger issues with unmarried men in general is called classic projection. You need professional help and I suggest you seek it.
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Rudy, you are free to have your opinion even as off as it is.. I suggest that you not read my blogs if they upset and anger you so much.. you are showing your anger and infantile emotions and not comprehending what is being sair or are taking it personally as so many insecure do.
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Rudy's a woman hater.
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Rudy, this artticle is wise. It's you who is projecting you transparent fool!
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You are an imbecile Rudy! "You don't know as much as you think or you wouldn't have married him in the first place." I bet you have never been married because no woman wants you. I know Ann. She is not only gorgeous, but fun, brilliant and could have any man that she wants. Many of us make mistakes and marry the wrong person but whose to say it was a mistake really. Perhaps, it was just learning and growing. People who never marry, can't commit and talk like you do are dead inside. You need help not Ann. She is sharing to help others and she is about as correct on things as anyone I have ever known and I am a psychiatrist.
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I agree Kirk. Rudy has never been married. No woman wants him. So he calls women misandrists. He pulls that word out too easily. Ann is beautiful writes her article and Rudy gets riled and goes on attack with his name calling. Ann did block him on FB and he followed her here. Easy to read his lies. Your clinical diagnosis of imbecile. I concur!
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A word Rudy uses often on all the women who can't stand him and reject him. He's studied it, read up on it. Ann doesn't fit this description. The internet brings them out of the woodwork doesn't it?
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All the people who agree with Ann and like the article are 'bad' people too, according to Rudy.
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I am a psychiatist and your take on this article is perverted. You need help. I suggest you stay off this blog and away from Ann. Got it!
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Rudy, there may be a misunderstanding. We are discussing pathological men, not all men. Your comments were very unkind. You may attack the argument but attacking an individual is not right. It's not right to speak of misandry when you display misanthropy or more specifically misogyny. While I don't agree 100% with any article I read, a healthy discussion will allow people to see your view point, however, when your actions support the topic of the discussion, it doesn't help anyone.
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Angie, I blocked this person on FB and he is angry at me.. he is acting out. Clearly, he is a very angry and troubled man. He is taking everything personally...He doesn't even use the correct words and doesn't know what he is writing about.. he is blinded by his lack, insecurity and anger.
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No, actually, you didn't block me on Facebook but I did read the thread there. I just didn't post because you blocked the people that disagreed with what you said. I've got quite a bit of knowledge in the area and things aren't as cut and dry as you seem to imply. Certainly, there are men out there like you're describing but it's such a small minority of all men and you make it out to sound as if you're talking about this vast group. I point out the fallacies and get the same reaction as the others did, especially when looking at some of the other articles you've written. It's actually funny that people who have never met me and only have seen a couple of posts "know" that "I hate women" but then these are the same people who claim to love "truth." Even simply looking at the language you yourself use in this article and others it is readily apparent that you have some deep issues - otherwise why would you write so many articles about it? You volunteered the information about how your husband cheated on you but to point that out is somehow wrong or unkind? I thought it was very odd you had a bad marriage, attack the type of man you married while taking zero responsibility for your judgement on that front, and say that men who never did marry are worse than perhaps even your ex? At least those men never victimized a woman by marrying them and cheating. I just think you don't want to hear the TRUTHS that you've so obviously missed because I cannot follow such irrational claims. Judging by the other females' comments it seems you have quite a following of fellow misandrists...I suppose like minds stick together. Good day.
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I did block you on FB. I can check IPs. So you are a blatant liar. Your take on my article is so twisted that I think you are severely hindered.
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We can tell that you hate women by what you write. You are attacking Ann for no reason. Her article is accurate and nothing is wrong with it and she shares her personal experiences to help others and she does help many. You aren't about truth. You are some hate filled man who is insecure. What you write is foggy and without basis.
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If they can't deal with what you say then don't read it but to flip out like this dude.
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I have read this blow hard's posts. He is angry and stressed. He wants a woman like you Ann and is angry because you wouldn't look twice at him.
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I agree Craig. He is enamored of Ann and she blocked him on FB and he has followed her here. He's sick I can tell from his posts. He tries to act like a know it all and he is perverting what she wrote to suit his twisted logic. He is dangerous.
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it's shocking to put it mildly. long term single people and the totally emotionally wrecked ....damn they are pitiful
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Wow Ann, be careful with that weirdo. He has major issues.
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Rudy you are one screwed up man.
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Looks to me like you are stalking Ann. I can tell from the way that you wrote what you did that you are lying and that she did block you on FB.
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All women who don't like you Rudy are misandrists. I bet that happens often to you. Rudy you are delusional and what you wrote about Ann and the article is utter bullshit.
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This Rudy character is a pathological man. He is angry and sick and taking it out on Ann. Anyone, can see this. Look at yourself Rudy old boy. It's you not Ann.
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Ann this is a fabulous article. Men who see themselves in it are freaking out. It is so on point.
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Well, Ann....the story is a hit too...you "stepped on the dogs' tails and now they are hollering"....hehehe
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being born with a penis does not make a man. it is way more than that, and way more than how many women you can bed. some people never grow beyond high school.
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Any man can be a father, It takes a real man to be a dad.
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I know Ann, he had such a strong reaction to the abuse that some men are perpetrating unto women. His outrage should be directed at those men that violate women. Although I have used the words some men, it is roughly up to 30% men that rape and beat their mates. That is an epic figure, not just "some men". Many experts agree that being born a women is the highest risk for being murdered, rapes, emotionally battered.Speaking out against these abusers threatens their ability to practice their "God given right" to hurt women. It takes away their ability to assert their violence against women, children and animals. I have experience in dealing with trolls, you either explain calmly once and never again or never respond at all. Defending yourself against an abuser is never effective, they will fight to keep their reality alive by any means possible. Their manipulations runs deeper than your truth outwardly....
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I get it Angie.. thanks..
Too over done and taking it too personally...
His hate is of women and he is taking it out on me.. he is clear as a bell..
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Excellent article Ann. Well written and I have seen in over and over. I have men friends who behave like this and the older that they get the more desperate they become. It catches up with them.
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How true I have learn that the hard way. I can honestly say, the guy I was with eight years did stay committed to me. Even those it wasn't a good ending.
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You pretty much nailed it Ann. Good job.
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I was never a PlayBoy but I do like to fool around.
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Ha! Well, at least you know yourself and can admit it.
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You really drove it home, Ann. Anyone who was offended has REAL problems!
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I've known more than a few myself.
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I haven't known that many.. but the ones that I have, I have found to be vapid.. and empty... and know it alls...
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That sums them up ...sad.
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They have never grown.. they are selfish, arrogant, insecure little boys that want no responsiblity.
Nothing manly about them...
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And nothing sexy or sensual either...
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yes, that is what I realized also.
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I find it perplexing, like tasting vomit after caviar, reading this author put down playboys but then savage a never married acquaintence of 49 on another blog. rather than butcher, maybe your fat ass can perform edgy analysis without condensending high and mighty hot bitch know it all. The 49 year old wasnt that bad. Your mouth runs like a "know it all"-never wrong-sewer. I bet when you have sex, you scream out your own name. Gentle and instructive, intuitive, enlightened, constructive, and wise should be the response to "less than sexy" commentary by those less than perfect, better, less perfect than you. As a man, who spent an entire life watching humans in all their glory, and vitriol, your comments remind me why the world is so fucked up. If only we all could be as damn sexy, smart, and classy as you. Then the world would be a paradise-right?
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I bet a low life like you has never tasted cavier. What a sick brain and mouth you have. You are probably the 49 never married baby or the playboy with herpes. You are the reason the world is losing morality as fast as Obama lies.
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Your comments contradic themselves. You write in word salad and use foul language. You are probably smelly and foul just like your meaningless foul words. A God-less liberal for sure with no ability to reason but to spew their foul nothingness to destroy all that's good and decent on earth.
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So true!
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Hah you are trying to get me going aren't you? (just kiddin) I agree with everything said in this article but this Article can be used to describe Females too! All you have to do is put "female" where the "male" is and wala "Woman Playgirls"! (I have met a lot of Woman Playgirls! Even more today then back 10 or 20 years ago!)
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Okay.. and that is because.. many women now are behaving like men.. which is against their nature...
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Yep I agree with that! The "Lesbian Nation's" push to convince ALL woman that a Man is no longer needed...so even straight woman are acting like men, you are correct!
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The older you get, the more the 'good ones' are taken. that may be why they are so few and far between. I notice that many people in general both men and women are unable or unwilling to look deeply inside and do the work to overcome the problems that hold them back from having a happy relationship.
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