The Insecure Man...
by Ann
may very well and can be the most dangerous thing on the planet. They create wars both large and small and because of their insecurity they can destroy even those whom they love.
Now, I am not writing about the insecurity that we all
may very well and can be the most dangerous thing on the planet. They create wars both large and small and because of their insecurity they can destroy even those whom they love. Now, I am not writing about the insecurity that we all
occasionally feel, a bit of insecurity is just part of being human.
I am writing about the insecure men that abuse their wives, girlfriends and children. They harrass people who service them and those that work for and with them.
In my opinion, insecurity is the reason for most of the troubles that, we, as humans have in relationships.
When a man feels secure in himself, he can more easily be kind, considerate, caring and empathetic to others
It takes a secure man to be in a relationship. It takes a secure man to do well in their career, or job, and to do what it takes to become successful. It takes an internally secure man to keep on trying, and to take adversity and manage it. It takes a secure man to lead, provide and give support to, and for his loved ones and a secure man wants to do this. A secure man enjoys a challenge. A secure man likes responsiblity. A secure man can admit when he feels insecure, shy, or doesn't know how to do thus and so. An insecure man usually can't admit any short comings.
Insecurity eats a man up from the inside out then spreads insecurity over all those with whom he comes into contact. He is jealous, moody, irritable, angry and usually for no real reason other than something that is eating him up inside... his insecurity.
An insecure man is always trying to prove himself to himself and to others and this can take many forms to arrogance and boasting, to back biting, and undercutting. A secure man needs none of this... as he feels secure in just being and can accept his faults and that of others.
An insecure man can't stand for another to be successful, more physically fit, richer, happier, more intelligent, more in love, or to be secure. An insecure man will do whatever he can do to bring the secure ones down to his insecure size.
So women, it's best to avoid and steer clear of insecure men as they will only bring you down, abuse you and do everything in their power to make you feel less than you really are.
Insecurity must destroy security in order for its survival while security will lift up most all it comes into contact with.
So... if you find yourself feeling insecure, unhappy or stressed around a man...GET AWAY FROM HIM! Don't think that it is about you.. know it is what he is projecting onto you, in order, that you feel as badly about yourself as he does himself.
An insecure man will diminish your light and suck the life and joy right out of a woman in his life. If his woman feels happy or secure, he feels threatened, unless, he realizes what his insecurity is doing to himself.
The insecure man is a blight on humanity as they suck power and life from the world.
And before anyone has the chance to remark, I realize that there are insecure women that wreck havoc.. but not near as much as insecure men.
Look to the left and click to follow...
I am writing about the insecure men that abuse their wives, girlfriends and children. They harrass people who service them and those that work for and with them.
In my opinion, insecurity is the reason for most of the troubles that, we, as humans have in relationships.
When a man feels secure in himself, he can more easily be kind, considerate, caring and empathetic to others
It takes a secure man to be in a relationship. It takes a secure man to do well in their career, or job, and to do what it takes to become successful. It takes an internally secure man to keep on trying, and to take adversity and manage it. It takes a secure man to lead, provide and give support to, and for his loved ones and a secure man wants to do this. A secure man enjoys a challenge. A secure man likes responsiblity. A secure man can admit when he feels insecure, shy, or doesn't know how to do thus and so. An insecure man usually can't admit any short comings.
Insecurity eats a man up from the inside out then spreads insecurity over all those with whom he comes into contact. He is jealous, moody, irritable, angry and usually for no real reason other than something that is eating him up inside... his insecurity.
An insecure man is always trying to prove himself to himself and to others and this can take many forms to arrogance and boasting, to back biting, and undercutting. A secure man needs none of this... as he feels secure in just being and can accept his faults and that of others.
An insecure man can't stand for another to be successful, more physically fit, richer, happier, more intelligent, more in love, or to be secure. An insecure man will do whatever he can do to bring the secure ones down to his insecure size.
So women, it's best to avoid and steer clear of insecure men as they will only bring you down, abuse you and do everything in their power to make you feel less than you really are.
Insecurity must destroy security in order for its survival while security will lift up most all it comes into contact with.
So... if you find yourself feeling insecure, unhappy or stressed around a man...GET AWAY FROM HIM! Don't think that it is about you.. know it is what he is projecting onto you, in order, that you feel as badly about yourself as he does himself.
An insecure man will diminish your light and suck the life and joy right out of a woman in his life. If his woman feels happy or secure, he feels threatened, unless, he realizes what his insecurity is doing to himself.
The insecure man is a blight on humanity as they suck power and life from the world.
And before anyone has the chance to remark, I realize that there are insecure women that wreck havoc.. but not near as much as insecure men.
Look to the left and click to follow...
Posted by Ann at 2/8/2011 12:23 AM 
Categories: Relationships
Tags: abuse men insecurity self-esteem women security kind considerate caring empathetic
Categories: Relationships
Tags: abuse men insecurity self-esteem women security kind considerate caring empathetic
Exactly Ann, Exactly.
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Good one. U r right Before u make some one happy u must be happy & secure with yourself.
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Very good article and as accurate as anything could be.
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I know at times when I feel insecure, I act out. So you are onto something, Ann.
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With more men out of work, insecurity is up and so is abuse. This is an accurate article. A secure man will figure things out and not take it out on those around him.
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Great article! I'm finally getting caught up on my email.... Thanks for all your wonderful and insightful posts Ann. You my friend are a great lady!
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Thank you Amy... I volley the compliment back to you. Glad to have you back on the blog..
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Wow! What a good blog Ann! You hit the nail on the head when you said that an insecure man cannot stand to see a secure man succeed or be successful. I, being a very secure man, have seen this many times. There have been men to try and poison me with their negativity since they lacked the internal drive and self-motivation that it takes to succeed, which is a direct characteristic of an insecure man. In addition, I notice that insecure men tend to try and dominate their wives or girlfriends by belittling them. They whittle away at their esteem so the insecure man appears better and more superior. To make a long story short Ann, these people are not men. They are simply called "guys." Real men don't drive others down. Instead, they want to see their friends succeed. They don't deflate people, they inflate them with compliments and aren't afraid to quickly admit they they are wrong or made a mistake. That's my story and I am sticking to it!
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Thank you for your post Kenny. You are dead on accurate .. I agree totally with what you wrote.
That innate insecurity can eat men alive and everyone around them suffers..
An internally secure person heals others as they have worked on themselves and heal their insecure parts all the time and everyday.. and this comes from self - awareness and self evaluation and brutal honesty. It's the brave that do this not the insecure.
But first they must become aware of their insecurity and that takes real bravery and strength..
Thanks again for your insights..
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Think of a playboy type... they aren't secure men.. they are the most insecure going from woman to woman exploiting her, using her glorious feminine power, unable to committ and to truly love.. Why? They are insecure little boy men..
Take the Muslim religion.. it is built on the insecutity of the male.. with doctrine to try an suppress the feminine power and to force supmission..
This is nothing but male insecurity.
Thanks for affirmations.. everyone..
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Yes Ann! A total yes!
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The Muslim example is real. These men are so insecure that they blame a woman if she is raped. They cover her body so they won't be tempted and blame her if they are. How insecure can a man be, it's the Muslim man. Then they kill or want to kill anyone that doesn't believe as they do.
Good blog ya got going on here, lady.
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Also, insecure people don't want others to feel free as in the abusive husband. The first thing that he does is close in her world so that he is dependant on him. Why he does this is because of his insecurity. I work in the field of psychology and I see this all the time. Ann, this is an excellent article and this site is very good. One of the best the I have tripped across.
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Love it, Ann. You give me so much to think about. I appreciate you so much.
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Thank you, Jimmy and Zany..
Another thought, if you are feeling insecure, be self-reflective and very honest with yourself and check to see why.. is there a real reason or is it because of a lack of trust and faith in yourself? Insecurity is a complex issue. We all have it in varying degrees. It when it takes over a personality that almost every behavior is directed by it, life choices and interactions. The more clear a person is with who they are and why that feel or react, the better chance that they have to address their insecurities that are sabatoging their life and relationships..
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Thank you Ann. This is a very good article.
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What you wrote covers alot and says it all. Dealing with that kind of insecurity is really hard. My wife is insecure and takes lots of things that I say wrong or not how I meant them. It cause fights and makes me frustrated. It's not my fault if she gains weight and is mad at herself. So she shouldn't take it out on me.
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No it is not your fault you just have to be aware of her sensitive issues and know not to pick on them. That would be my advise but I do agree that living with someone who is insecure is tough. They are always down on themselves and respecting them can even become an issue. However, the more insensitive you are the more you enable her own issues.Not that I am saying that you are insensitive, I have no idea, just a statement.
Good luck and keep in mind for better or worse!
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A secure man who is a christian knows who he is & knows how to conduct himself as a man. It takes maturity in Christ and age. I think most men hit that in their mid to late 30's if they are in Christ.
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I agree Sam.. security in self comes with a level of maturity and Christ certianly helps. The higher power of Jesus can be a wonderful guiding light to self-awarness and self-evaluation.
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You said it all, Ann!
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Great blog!
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Great post, very comprehensive. An inscure man is a drag to be around. They are whiney. I had a relationship with an insecure man and he was always boasting and arrogant. At first, I thought he was successful and secure then I realized the he was empty. He was the car that he drove, the wine he was drinking and he drank alot and he exaggerated his accomplishments. In the beginning he was fun and complimentary to me. Then he became critical and of me and I began to feel uncomfortable around him. Instead of enjoying being with him, I couldn't wait to get away from him. I ended it. Many insecure men drink to feel better about themselves. You are on it with this article. An nice man that feels secure is comfortable to be with. I learned this and your piece comfirmed it.
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I can't stand whiny men. When a man whines I run. And many these days are whiny. What is going on? It's almost like they think a woman should take care of them. It's gross.
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I like exploding a lot... I do it all the time...Fun stuff!
Jerry
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No truer words were ever written. Cool site!
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Yep very true.
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Insecure men can be abusive. They try to drag everyone down to their level. Good article Love this site. I can read on here for hours and learn so much and laugh too
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A secure man will figure things out and not take it out on those around him.
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I pondered exactly the same thing that i often wonder when checking out fresh blogs. What do I think about it? Exactly how does it influence me personally?
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Insecure men are horrible to be around.
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Insecure men can easily become abusive. They need to try and dominate and try to put a woman down if she is secure. He wants his woman to feel less than he feels and since he feels bad. He will try and make her feel worse.
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Ann this is one of the best you have ever written.
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All your blogs are awesome Ann...not just this one..
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Great blog Ann!
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Great blogs Ann. I enjoy reading them very much
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Thanks guys I appreciate the positive reinforcemant...
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I believe being secure or unsecure begins on how you are brought up in the home. Children should be taught that neither a man or a woman should ever hit on each other. Security comes from how children are treated.
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Good point Billy.. children will treat others the way that they observe others being treated. And they develope who they are in this observance.
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Most of the time, the way parents treat their children will be the way children treat other people.
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That is very right Billy. If they see their dad hit their mother then they will think it's ok to hit a woman and it's not ok. The parents are to blame for how their kids act towards others.
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The "secure" woman may not be taking responsibility for how they "man"ipulate the insecure man in this article. The, so called insecure man, is the most pliable creature of the emotional energy manipulators.
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An insecure man of course can be easily manipulated but a woman that sees his holes and fills them up with praise... of course, that is true..
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Good one. I have been married to an insecure man and he made me ill. I am so glad to get rid of him.
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I LOVED your piece about "The Insecure Man". It's so-o true. As an accomplished, single lady of many years, I have learned a lot about men. The first step is to avoid an insecure guy. Trouble every time!! Thank you for this insightful commentary.
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Arnold is so obviously STUPID. Maria should walk not run in the opposite direction,., No excuses for throwing his family away like he did. Did he really think he would not get caught!
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I do not believe in cheating, it's just plain wrong. It can destroy marriage. Is it worth it?
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Just a little road map for those who 'feel' insecure. Watch some John Wayen and Clint Eastwood movies. That will help you! They aren't wussies!
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I'm torn, Ann. There's a child who is thirteen now. He would not have been born if "Arnold" had not have engaged in this behavior...give him some slack. Think about it...love, Rob.
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Robert has a good point, he was born because of Arnold's indiscretion. but it also resulted in a broken family and much hurt. It's not a perfect world.
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I 'get' what Robert is saying.. but immorality is no way to bring child into this world. And our acceptance of lack of judgement and lack of morality and values is what helps this kind of thing to continue so blatantly harming all involved. Sure, the child, is here and has to deal with what his life presents to him.
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The woman had to agree to have sex with Arnold. How come it is that only Arnold has to pay out the kazoo?
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Actually Maria couild sue her for alienation of affection as in the destruction of her family.. but the maid has fewer resources...
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Yes it does take two to tango but lets face it. the housekeeper surely does not have the money that Arnold has so how would she pay out the kazoo? It is what it is. She is a sneaky little low life, they both are but she set out to seduce him and as stupid as he is, he fell for it.
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Ann, I agree with you about a man who is insecure, but lets not kid ourselves an insecure woman can be equally destructive.
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Hi, I agree with every statement that you have made in the post and I really appreciate your effort in gathering up the information. Thanks for it.
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Insecure men can't handle rejection at all. They need to feel in control and when they don't feel it they get mean, cruel and this is when you see who they really are.
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Insecure people are always trying grand gestures to prove they are NOT insecure. In a culture that does not prize maturity (insecure/immature people are easier to sell things to) we are awash in such "grand gestures."
I fear that most folks today would find secure, mature people "no fun," and BORING... Secure people exist; do you notice them?
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There are causes for this behavior. Atheism is one, but Prof. Magnarella wrote that gangbanging is a logical response to the insecurity of a murderous environment -- that the gangbanger (and probable ALL insecure abusive arschlochen) wants to SEEM "fierce" so he won't be attacked -- as in his world view, gentle people are abused and fierce ones are left alone. Unfortunately, his desire to seem fierce makes him do hostile and abusive things (gotta act like a bad dude, right?) -- which further poisons his neighborhood! I suspect many insecure ones fear the discovery of their weakness -- so they bark, snap, and abuse...
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Exactly.. so insecure men are the most dangerous things on this planet.. look at Obama.. a bought and paid for puppet trying to prove he is a big shot...
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Ann, you are spot on about the insecure man. We talk about this on our 21st podcast, MANSY Controlling Guy. Here's the link: http://www.americanmansy.com/american-mansy-podcast/2011/12/8/amp21-mansy-controlling-guy.html
Check out our blog and radio show American MANSY - For Men Who Love Women & How Not To Be A Stupid-Ass About Them. Hope you enjoy it!
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Thanks Todd. I will check it out..
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Ann,
Men have tended to be rather "stunted" in their maturation process for over 40 years. It takes several things to be "secure" in your masculinity and they all are based in a close relationship to God. Keeping the Holy Spirit close and doing what is right, is the true act of love.
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Agree Logan and well put..
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An insecure man = control freak. lol
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Very well written. While this addresses ALL men it would be good for moslem men to read and see if perhaps their behaviors might fit the description of an insecure man. I say it does!
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This article is very accurate. My father is the man you are describing . He has put my Mother through hell. She is still married to him . I decided when I was young ,that would not be my story. I love my Father very much , but I stay a way from guys like him .I love a guy that doesnt have to boast about their achievements , but they let their actions speak for theirselves .
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Shay, I understand. In many ways, this was my father also. A father sets the stage for other men that enter a woman's life. There is nothing as wonderful as a secure man.. but an innately insecure man destroys and diminished the people in his life because of his insecurity and need to control. All of us have insecurities but when they are our driving force it wrecks havoc with those in our lives. Self-awareness is key.
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Very good article. Obama is a public example.
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Ann,
I just stumbled onto your site. Very informative and alot of this explains my ex husband but including drugs! I just got out of my marriage (under a year) about 6 months ago. I couldn't handle the control anymore the unhappiness in me daily and the insecurity he projected onto me when he was the snake in the grass not me. I appreciate your site! It came to me in a dark triggered moment, Thank you!
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K.B. thank you.. I am glad you are out of what was harmful.. stick around .. there are lots of interesting articles.. take care and God bless!
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Love it!
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Good post!
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Great article .....Love it!
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That explains obama!
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Good one!
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