Sex or Love?
Does love blossom from sexual attraction?Or does sexual attraction blossom from love?
Which comes first?
And can you have one without the other?
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Does love blossom from sexual attraction?Or does sexual attraction blossom from love?
Which comes first?
And can you have one without the other?
For years the answer to that question was sure.
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I think most women would say that love and sex go together. Men will say sex comes first.
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HELL YES ,, with out the blossom ,, you could not make love ((( SMILES ))"
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HELL YES ,, with out the BLOSSOM , we could not make love at all ((( SMILES )))."
I meant.
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There was a time, when the answer was whatever it took. Actually that time was twice in my life young and single and then later still young and newly single.
The first time starting in high school I was co-founder of a fraternal organizatio...n called U.A.P.W. where the core principle was one had to be dating at least three ladies at the same time, yet keep each loyal to you. While most lied to their girl friends I thought this was wrong. I made sure each were at different schools so they wouldn't know or run into each other. Then I told each they were the one but my parents didn't want me getting to serious so they wouldn't let me date one person exclusively, so I dated these other two to keep my parents off my back to let me spend more time with them.
Later after a 5 year marriage and 3 years of living with her before, a miserable existence since she is to this day in and out of institutions with uncontrollable bi-polar disorder. But I made my bed and intended to lay in it. She left me and thank God!! I made the decision to never get hooked in a rebound so dated a different woman every night. Had different types for different things, classy for the business related parties and events, arm candy, the buddy to go on cheap dates, etc. Then when I met someone to upgrade would do so. This was working great, until I bought a water bed because my ex took everything. The store manager was a hot little blond who I thought would make a great story as part of the close. It did make a great story, we went out, and I was captivated, cancelled the other upcoming dates and now 27 years and three kids later, I am still madly passionately in love with her. So, the answer to your question was YES.
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Thank you for that story, Jim.. Interesting.. and glad that love and sex came together for you so nicely..
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She was the first woman I ran into who I couldn't manipulate, I wanted a story, she knew going in that I wasn't getting my story. It was fun to match minds first I must say.
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I think affection leads to intimacia, which leads to sexual ralationship,,, it is the affection that is important
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Pretty much agree, Vanderslice.. How's the flying?
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If there is dishonesty in the relationship then it is not love. It is using the other person, for security, sex or both. Interesting stories of conquest and the need to possess someone, but not much about true love. Sex is often about desire and conquest. Love is about respect, admiration and the fulfillment of each others needs so that you can obtain security with one person.
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I have been sexually attracted to men whom I knew I could never love. I think the attraction, in whatever form - i.e. personality, appearance, intellect, etc. - has to be there first and you can learn to love someone. Not too many people are lucky enough to have love at first sight work for them. If you truly love someone, all the other stuff is miniscule. If a woman loves a man, she'll have no problem committing to and sleeping with him.
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Dana, agree you can be sexually attracted to someone and when you get to know them not even like them, in fact do not like them.. then the attraction goes away..
Like Thomas wrote.. love is built on attraction but mostly respect, trust, caring .. when that is present along with the chemistry Wow!
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That initial sexual chemisty can be just that and nothing more.. It's when affection and love grows that the sexual connection also gets deeper..hotter.. more deep, more caring , more fun.. and more meaningful.
Trust and respect are the basis for love and out of that comes great sex..my opinion and my experience..
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Wow! What an intense site. Think I'm past most of this stuff at this point of life. I hope so anyway.
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Not "all", but most. Hehehe!
The last thing at my house that exploded was the water heater..
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Terry, I bet you have lots more going on than with the water heater.. if you are aware...
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Absolutely! Actually, I'm pretty active at 59. It's just that my priorities, needs & desires have changed. I'm married to a great guy, I have my own business that is thriving, no more games, hassels, cooking, or searching for anything. While I am suffering from a big disconnect from my brain that thinks I'm 36 and a body that tries to keep up, I'm certainly NOT the 59 year old of my grandmother's era.
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Yep lots of things going on inside yourself.. lots to express...expressing is also about good things..
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You can explode in happiness and love.. or anger and saddness..
Exploding and expressing is about all of it..
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Both?
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Ann it deoends on the person. At this point in my life, sexual attraction is still there but there has to be a genuine love. Beauty is fading as is the prime of life.
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Sex is used as a hook by sick, twisted, psychologically impaired people instead of as an expression of caring and love...
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I agree Irina..
Sex is an expression of love in the physical.. it does not precede love.. it is an expression of love.
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You have to have both...just ask my exwife
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It's "DIFFICULT" to have one without the other....
But I would say the sexual attraction comes FIRST !!
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I love women that explode!
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Sexual attraction must be present, or you're just good friends. Sexual attraction almost always comes first. Face it, you ask someone out 95% of the time because you're attracted to her. After a date or two you know whether or not you have ...fun together, can have a conversation together, share interests together, and want to spend more time together. The love grows from there, or not. I would say that almost never do you become physically attracted to someone after knowing them awhile. Sexual attraction is something that I recognize immediately upon meeting someone, or not. If that attraction is not there I can certainly still be friends, but I won't want a romantic relationship. But, just because I might be very physically attracted doesn't necessarily mean I want a second date if the first one doesn't go well. Looks definitely aren't everything. Far from it.
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WELL SAID Randy !!!!
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Agree Randy.. but I have gone out and the sexual attraction does emerge after I know them more..for a woman it isn't all about looks it's about intellect, how they treat you, sense of humor.. but yes, I have gone out with really attractive men that were boring and stupid and rude and nada.. by the end of the evening.. I felt cold as ice.. Ignorance and rudeness don't make for sexy.
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Falling in love is easy. It's staying in love that's difficult and shows the character and commitment of the character of the human being and couple.
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Sex is important..but love it more important.. there are times, in a relationship or marriage when sex just isn't happening like after the birth of a baby or illness or something and love is still there even perhaps stronger than before. Ann is really right sex is one expression of love but sex is nothing without love. People too focused on sex are missing out on what is important. Perhaps they can't feel real love or something.
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i think it takes both but i think love comes first you can want to be intimate with someone but it just doesnt feel the same as it does with someone you really love when you love someone the intimacy is always so much more amazing
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Good thread.
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I'm gonna go with door number 2...Love
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I think LOVE is it.
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It can work both ways depending on the nature of one's relationship. For example, if you meet someone in a public setting, the sexual atraction would probably come first. Having said that, a friend of mine worked with a man for two years. They were friends at first then lovers. She admitted that she inititially didn't find him very attractive. Hope that helps.
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You sure do write a lot on (( LOVEY -Dovey ))) things . you are beautiful , don't stop !!!!!
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"@ Will ~~ Beautiful is not the word for it ,, Gorgeous ,Dazzlingly beautiful and full of life . WHAT MAN WOULD EVER GIVE HER UP ??. Only a man with jealousy's !!!!!."
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This isn't nearly as naughty as I'd hoped it was. But I like it.
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I've fallen in "lust" more than I've ever fallen in love....I've only been in love 3 times in my life...but they all started out sexual...
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I think both are the same and could be almost oppisite in solefull meaning so you can have both and thats awsum or one without the other but the latter will only last till you find your nexted quest or notch on your belt so to speak. Love and Lust both have aplace within. You get love from within and lust from without. So i guese its all left up to the person or persons invovled in the particular time
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I think you have to be attracted to a person before things can even get to the level where love is possible. I know sometimes it's opposite but I feel the attraction has to be there first and it has to be an almost immediate thing.
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When you have sex without love... you will lose the connection between body mind, and spirit and lose the ability to experience and feel love..
Sex and love go together..
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I am going to take a step further and say an adult that can have sex without love is an emotional loser..
They are cut off from who they are and there emotions.. so they focus on the physical and it's shallow and kills the ability to truly connect to another on all levels.. Sex is just one expression of love... in the physical.
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Thats not always true...perhaps in some instances..but not the norm...there are people out there who like sex...doesn't mean you loose your ability to love...I think a wide range of experience makes you better at loving someone....
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I disagree.. women and men, of course, are different in this area.. but the women I know who try to be like men lose their heart and regret it. Sex is precious .. it isn't just a sport and people who have really been in love know this.. there is nothing less meanful or unfulfilling than to have empty sex.. Now, it's con that is being perpetuated that it is okay and it's hurting people and our society as awhole.
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Ann....are you going to tell us that you've never had the hots to jump someone..even though you weren't in love???
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Sure I have felt that way.. and acted on it once to my regret as it was meaninless and empty. I am mature snough now to not act on those 'hot' feelings when I know that this is all that it is. When you have been in love, you know how meaninful sex is and that it is an expression of love in the physical.
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you do have a valid point Ann...yes I agree that there are a ton of loose morals out there...and sex is precious to some but not others..men or women...I know more women who get out and have sex for fun than men...
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Women like that are behaving like males and it is against their very nature. And immorality is destroying our society's morality, since of family and love. Children that don't even know who their fathers are. Children born out of wedlock with no family stablity grow up without strong identity and values.
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I guess we're all guilty of immature acts of youth huh??? yes its a wide spread problem..and it all starts with parents and family...if American families were as strong as in the past we wouldn't have this problem...
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and you know the majority of those women are alone and un married..
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Need you say more.. they may like it that way and that is their choice..
But this immorality thingy that is running rampant is a con and a joke on the people participating in it.
Love and sex go together..
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interesting information,and perspective.
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Ann I really enjoy your opinions and your pics. Very hot.
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Men love SEX, women LOVE sex
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In my life, I live and think different than most others. I do live a lonely life because of my principles and morals. But I believe in my spirit, that I'm with true value of worth. I believe that love and understanding of another should come first. I'm able to look at a woman and know in my heart, if its possible for me to love her. And if I feel this feelings of love, I know that our sex life would be at its best. Why because I'm more than willing to put 100% of my self into pleasing my other. I'm not a W-D, as I don't sleep around having sex with woman. I don't want to regret sharing a part of my self to a dead end relationship, just for pleasure. As I will have a feeling of being dirty and unclean. "Strange"
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